Altering Perceptions
by rochsmell
Summary: "Merely to the illustration of your character," said she, "I am trying to make it out." How differently might our beloved couple act if he was more aware of her true feelings, and she was better informed of his character. - rewritten summary as this story has begun a new direction than it has been intended.
1. Prologue & Chapter 1

**AN:** Hello and thanks for reading! I've recently changed this chapter to have the prologue and first chapter - nothing new :) Have been working on the next chapter - hopefully will publish soon.

Just a friendly warning - some characters are slightly OoC - this **is** intentional and has been done to make the overall story make sense. I have tried to not alter them completely, but rather show some change in personality due to specific events. We are now jumping ahead in time from the epilogue to where the changes to the original starts (and to a different place so feel free to pretend the doctor bought us). Additionally, I won't always stick to regency conventions, so don't stress too much about those! Hope you enjoy :)

 **Disclaimer-** Pride and Prejudice, it's characters and settings are the work of Jane Austen. Sections in italics are taken directly from Pride and Prejudice.

* * *

 **Prologue**

 **Netherfield Park, Hertfordshire- November 1811**

* * *

Elizabeth sought her eldest sister, who had spent the evening so far in the company of Mr Bingley. Jane met her with a smile of such sweet complacency, a glow of such happy expression, as sufficiently marked how well she was satisfied with the occurrences of the evening. - Elizabeth instantly read her feelings, and at that moment solicitude for Wickham, resentment against his enemies and every thing else gave way before the hope of Jane's being in the fairest way for happiness.

"I want to know," said she, with a countenance no less smiling than her sister's, "what you have learnt about Mr Wickham. But perhaps you have been too pleasantly engaged to think of any third person, in which case you may be sure of my pardon."

"No," replied Jane, "I have not forgotten him; but I take no pleasure in the spreading of information about a gentleman when he is not present to defend the claims against him."

"Does Mr Bingley speak of Mr Wickham's character with great contradiction to what we ourselves have seen?"

"I know you shall not be entirely satisfied by it, but he does. He would not share the whole of his history, at first he insisted that it was not his place to do so, which I must agree." Jane smile was tender for a moment as she paused to consider the gentleman, but then she grew earnest once more, "as I know you would have encouraged, I gently persisted and he hinted on some more unhappy matters from the past that would be too unsettling to share with a young lady. Indeed though, Mr Bingley will vouch for the good conduct, the probity and honour of his friend, and is perfectly convinced that Mr Wickham has deserved much less attention from Mr Darcy than he has received; and I am sorry to say that by his account as well as his sister's, Mr Wickham is by no means a respectable young man. I am afraid he has been very imprudent, and has deserved to lose Mr Darcy's regard."

"Mr Bingley does not know Mr Wickham himself?"

"He had thought he had never saw him till the other morning in Meryton, but now recollects the possibility of meeting once before, several years ago."

"This account then is what he has received from Mr Darcy. I am perfectly satisfied. But what does he say of the living?"

"He does not exactly recollect the circumstances, though he has heard them from Mr Darcy more than once, but he believes that it was on Mr Wickham's insistence that the matter be handled so, not on Mr Darcy's convictions. He assured me that Mr Darcy the elder had left his son with clear instructions on how it was to be left, and it gave Mr Darcy great apprehension to not follow through with them as his father wished."

"I have not a doubt of Mr Bingley's sincerity,'' said Elizabeth warmly; ``but you must excuse my not being convinced by assurances only. Mr Bingley's defence of his friend was a very able one I dare say, but since he reports only that which he has learnt from that friend himself, I shall venture still to think of both gentlemen as I did before."

Despite Elizabeth's spoken resolution, the seeds of doubt had been planted in her mind, and the more she considered the conflicting reports and what each gentleman might have to gain from their side of the tale, the less she saw foundation in Mr Wickham's version.

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

 **Mortimer House, London - March 1812**

The crush of the crowd was a little overwhelming to one not used to such events, but as Darcy had been attending private balls and parties for many years; he was not put off by the amount of ladies and gentlemen that had been squeezed into the grand house. It was possible that he also did not share in the discomfort of others due to the fact that he was quite tall and so stood with his head above much of the rest. It also gave him an excellent view of the room he now surveyed.

Lady Mortimer was known for her extravagant affairs, and had hosted at least two smaller, more intimate events since the start of the year. Intimate meaning almost one hundred guests, but tonight's ball had drawn a much larger gathering. Darcy had managed to avoid attending her earlier parties, and he had not intended to be present this night either. Here he stood though, amongst the chattering and glittering throng. Upon arrival he had made sure to make some conversation with his hostess and dutifully danced with her eldest daughter. As the Mortimers were old connections of his mother's family, he knew he should make more of an effort as a guest, but he normally had little taste for a ball, and tonight's event was no exception. It had been a long evening – though they had arrived late.

Now he stood in the back hall of the house, attempting to cross a surging mass of bodies, to access the card room that was opposite his position. The dancing had halted to allow time for guests to mingle and explore the cool darkness of the gardens. It was an unseasonably mild night, and warmer still in the ballroom, but the festivities were due to resume, and the crowd was pressing themselves back inside. Bingley had been mid-sentence before they had stopped and now he craned his neck as he searched the crowd, and he called up "Can you see him?"

They had excused themselves from the company of Bingley's sisters and a large group of their acquaintances in search of Mr Hurst, though Darcy was certain he knew the whereabouts of that gentleman. He lead his friend across the width of the hall, ignoring the persons who were attempting to move in the opposite direction, and his friend followed in his path, somewhat more politely leaving a trail of "Excuse me" and "I do beg your pardon" behind them. Neither gentleman took notice of the admiring glances that were also left in their wake.

The card room was filled with cigar smoke and the deep rumble of men's voices – it was rare for a lady to pass its threshold. Mr Hurst had tucked himself into a corner and was busy goading the other players into higher stakes. As they made their way towards him, he seemed to successfully defeat several of the gentlemen seated with him and he chortled loudly drawing the attention of others in the room.

"Had enough of the sport?" he called out as he noticed their presence but he was soon too caught up in his tactics for conversation and he would not be moved during a game so Bingley turned to address to his friend.

"Darcy, there is hardly more to keep me in town. I have no fancy for balls and parties, though they once gave me much joy, now I find the numbers in town so stifling- the season means nothing to me - I would very much like to return to Netherfield, and soon."

Having been the second half of such a discussion several times over the last few weeks, Darcy paused before responding – he would answer in just the same way he had all those times before – there were no new reasons to keep Bingley out of Hertfordshire. In his wait though, he noted that another gentleman at a nearby table looked up and studied Bingley with curiosity. He was no one that they had met before, though at such events it was common to sit amongst strangers, Darcy was sure Lady Mortimer had invited every family in town, and her husband had then added his own acquaintances.

"I have no quarrel with you on such an idea Charles," he finally replied, "You may do as you please, but I do not have such leisure with my time – so it would be impossible for me to accompany you now, or even in a few months."

This response had kept him in London for several weeks. Since the 'business' that Bingley had first come to town to settle was completed and the criticisms over that country had begun to fail against his friend's persistent zeal- Darcy, along with Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst had to be creative in their means of keeping Bingley in London. His initial reason for wanting to return - to reclaim the company of Miss Jane Bennet - had been solved easily by his friend and sisters' adamant assurances that she did not match his regard, and would likely have forgotten him. Though he was saddened by this possibility, his hopeful side could not be quashed for long. He argued on the basis of wishing to learn of her feelings for himself, and then following this, of the waste which leasing Netherfield Park was while it remained empty. Neither of these reasons were settled - Bingley had been taught to be quite practical with his finances by his father, and despite Miss Bingley's belief that a gentleman should leave his property unused for part of the year - he thought this inefficient. He could not be entirely convinced of Miss Bennet's lukewarm regard, or that to investigate such a matter himself would be painful (and that his friends and sisters only hoped to keep him from such misery) but he had spoken of her less and less as the weeks went by and Darcy was sure she would soon be forgotten. He still desired to return, but they had had success in delaying him over this one point - as much as he would have liked to think of himself independent in mind and spirit, he was not. Despite Bingley's desire to leave, he would not want to do so alone.

"You know how I rely on you so, perhaps if you were to agree to return, Caroline might as well - for if she does not I will be unable to receive guests, which is a sorry thing indeed."

Just as Darcy was about to reply (that such things were not of his concern) his name was called from the neighbouring table. Lord Mortimer stood, and offered a hand in greeting, clearly only just aware of their coming into the room.

"Darcy!" He repeated before lighting a new cigar and smirking, "could not keep away could you? And my poor Margaret lamented for days after you sent word that you could not come. Good god man, how you like to tease."

"I assure you Robert, that was not my intention." Darcy did his best to explain, but Mortimer only dismissed his excuses with a wave of his plump hand. Introductions were made about the room - Bingley seemed very pleased to meet their host while the gentlemen at Mortimer's table only nodded politely, with the exception one - the one who had studied Bingley curiously earlier - a Mr Gardiner. Instead he stood and joined them, a cordial and knowing smile on his features, while Mortimer returned to his game evidently having served his role of host by introducing guests who did not know each other.

"Pray excuse me sir," he spoke to Bingley, "it was wrong of me to listen in on your discussion, but did I hear correctly? Did you say Netherfield?"

"I did."

"Did you, by chance, mean Netherfield Park, in Hertfordshire?"

"Why yes!" Bingley eagerly turned towards the gentleman, "I have leased that property since before last Michaelmas. Do you know it?"

Darcy considered the man carefully; he was not familiar, though it was not as if Darcy had committed every face in that country to memory. There was only one set of features that had been sealed there, regardless of his attempts to erase it. Still - Bingley would know him if he had been in that country at the same time as them.

"Indeed, this is an honour, Mr Bingley! I would not say that I know it, but I know of it, why, I was only just in Hertfordshire, visiting my sister's family over Christmas."

Suspicions churned in his stomach as Darcy listened to them speak – for the stranger to know of his friend seemed very odd, and yet Bingley seemed to think little of it. The gentleman was still cheerfully speaking to his friend, who had become his usual friendly self - the discussion with Darcy abandoned, "it is a lovely part of the country is it not?"

"It is, I find myself quite longing to return as soon as I might." In all the years that they had been friends, Bingley had never been one to prefer the quiet of the country over bustle and company of town, but over the last few months, it seemed that his opinion had changed. "You must tell me, who is your sister? Who is her family?"

The gentlemen's smile broadened if that was at all possible – "Forgive me sir, I should have said. Fanny Bennet is my sister, I am Edward Gardiner. It is from my dear sister and her daughters that I had first heard of you."

Darcy was sure in that moment his heart stopped and his stomach clenched as his friend also paused – a look of disbelief now evident in his features. He recovered a little quicker than Bingley. "You are the uncle of the Miss Bennets?"

"I am," Mr Gardiner responded with mirth, he looked curiously now at Darcy who did not shy away from the other man's scrutiny. If they had met in a drawing room of Longbourn, Darcy might still wonder at this gentleman's relationship with the mother of that family - he spoke with such candour and deference, there was nothing false about him. His eyes held humour and intelligence. For Darcy, it was easy to guess that this was the uncle who had businesses in trade - and yet he was an acquaintance of the Mortimers. "Fine girls are they not? Especially the older two. Though I am hardly one to speak impartially"

Bingley had seemed to return to the room and the disbelief of moments ago had been replaced by what Darcy thought to be hope. It was a dangerous grounds, after the many weeks of distractions and responsibilities, suddenly before Bingley was a chance, an opportunity. Darcy began to wonder if the gentleman had sought them out, knowing their history in Hertfordshire, perhaps that was the cause for their introduction. He seemed intelligent enough to be inconspicuous in his true actions. How much had the brother of Mrs Bennet been told, most likely she would have spoken of things at great length, but to her brother? And was he the type to take on such cunning schemes? Darcy's reference had made it clear that he had known of the Gardiners' existence and both gentlemen were quietly sizing each other up, while Bingley chatted about how they had become acquainted with the Bennets. Mr Gardiner came to a conclusion from his study much faster than Darcy and spoke more directly to Bingley again.

"Yes, I know I am not neutral in this regards, but I do think them to be most excellent young ladies – they have spent many a happy time in our home. And we were fortunate that one of the Miss Bennets returned to London this year, for Mrs Gardiner quite enjoys their company."

Darcy was aware of which of the sisters he referred to - this was the eventuality of the conversation that had concerned him since Mr Gardiner had first spoken of his connections. Yet part of him hoped for a different answer. His mind whirled at the options before him, how best to handle the revelation of what had been kept from his friend. There was no time though, Bingley seized upon the comment. "One of the Miss Bennets…?"

"The eldest, Jane," Mr Gardiner paused, and Darcy wanted so very much to believe that his smile was confirmation that this had all been a ploy – that Bingley was about to be re-caught in a far more ingenuous trap than one he might have suspected, and yet Mr Gardiner's manner was just so honest. "She was a little low over the festive season, which is not like her at all, so sweet and sensible. On the advice of her sister, Miss Elizabeth, we brought her for a few months in town to raise her spirits. Very smart one, that Lizzy."

His words had an odd effect on both gentlemen, Bingley appeared as though he had just been granted the keys to the kingdom and his breathing grew steadily rapid as he focused on the other man's words. Darcy, however, was torn – his rational mind wanted to question this gentleman's motives and protested what the Bennets might have tol this gentleman. At the same time, the affable nature of his words, the manner in which he behaved was so convincing, he could only be a doting uncle who was making conversation with acquaintances of his relations. And Darcy's heart wanted to hear more of Miss Elizabeth.

"They are here as well," Mr Gardiner gestured towards the doorway that lead back to the ballroom, smiling, "Miss Bennet, that is, as well as my wife. I should return to them, we had not intended to stay out so late, if you would wish it, I would be happy for you to join me."

Bingley was quick to agree, nervously tugging at the hem of his waistcoat, the mission to recover Mr Hurst long forgotten. They began to move from the room and Darcy found he had no choice but to follow – if only to assist his friend.

Mr Gardiner made easy progress through the slightly less crowded hall and into the ballroom. The dancing had begun and couples swirled about gracefully in the centre of the room. They were lead to a cluster of lounges in a small archway, Darcy spotting the eldest Miss Bennet instantly. She was standing beside a seated woman who Darcy assumed was her aunt, except that she was younger than he would have expected. This other woman wore an air of simple yet confident elegance and fashion. While she who he assumed to be Mrs Gardiner was occupied in a conversation with an acquaintance, her niece was not and she did not fail to notice the approach of her uncle and the two gentlemen behind him. The amiable smile that she wore was immediately dropped, her cheeks bloomed and she looked down, alarm evident in the change in her position. Her aunt did notice this change and looked up to see the last few steps of her husband's approach. Excusing herself from the conversation, she stood and stepped slightly in front of Jane with a welcoming smile.

Mr Gardiner affectionately addressed his wife before introducing her to Darcy and Bingley, who both bowed slightly. He explained why he had brought them over, though Darcy could see that was not entirely necessary, for on hearing their names a flash of recognition passed behind her discerning gaze. Again his mind grumbled at the indication that they had been spoken of in Hertfordshire after their departure. She briefly glanced back at Jane, who had still not looked up from the floor, before greeting them politely.

"What a pleasure it is to meet you," Bingley appeared as though he was about to burst, as he greeted her before turning to her niece. "Good evening Miss Bennet."

His soft, tender tone drew Jane's eyes up to meet them. "Mr Bingley," she curtseyed slightly, her eyes never leaving his, "Mr Darcy. How pleased I am to see you both again."

They stood awkwardly there, Bingley and the Gardiners attempting to make easy conversation, while Darcy watched from one side in silence, and Miss Bennet appeared both confused and scared. The first dance had ended, and the music had started to swell again, calling for dancers. Anticipating his friend, Darcy stepped towards the ladies – "Miss Bennet, if you are not already engaged, might I have the enjoyment of this dance?"

She did not verbally reply, but took his offered arm, her surprise mirroring that of his friend. They found their places on the floor, and Darcy watched her carefully, the blush on her features had been washed away and she looked at him with some apprehension. Darcy had tried to observe her carefully, from afar, when they were last in each other's company, but he had not danced with her since the Meryton assembly. She had to accept him, or remain off the dance floor for the rest of the evening, but she did not seem upset or annoyed to be dancing with him now, more disappointed but in a way that would not be easily noticeable to one who did not look too close. Whenever their gazes met, she offered him a modest smile, but it never remained long on her face. Her eyes were often drawn behind him, to the part of the room where the others stood. They moved in silence together and he could not help but recall her sister's teasing reproach - "It is your turn to say something now, Mr Darcy... One must speak a little, you know. It would look odd to be entirely silent for half an hour together". A warm tingle spread through him at the memory of her, a feeling he had come to consider inclination. An unsafe feeling. Breathing deeply he forced away those dangerous thoughts and was brought back to the ballroom in which he currently danced, and to the Miss Bennet that he danced with. Clearing his throat he finally spoke, "and how have you been enjoying your time in town?"

Miss Bennet blushed again and he wondered at the path her thoughts had taken in their silence.

"It has been quite pleasant."

"I understand that you have been with your aunt and uncle for some time..."

"Yes, they have been very kind in allowing me to stay..."

They fell into silence once more; he struggled to think of more polite subjects. In truth he had only thought to prevent his friend's dancing with her, hoping that while they were parted another means to distract Bingley would present itself. He had believed his actions in separating his friend from this woman, not only this night but in the months before, to be just and true - while she, herself, could barely be considered a threat to his friend's happiness - it was the influence of her mother and her friends that Darcy had found concerning. Miss Bennet, he thought, was a sweet, pretty and passive girl who would dutifully marry a suitable gentleman, regardless of a lack of depth in her regard. His friend may have grown to nurture a serious attachment for her, but he saw no partiality in her actions. He could not allow Bingley to enter into such an arrangement without genuine inclination on both sides, especially if it would end with him bound to such vulgar connections. As he danced with her now though, he could see how his perception of her feelings for his friend may not have been entirely correct. Miss Bennet continued to smile prettily at Darcy when they faced one another in the dance, but with each turn he would note how her gaze would drift to Bingley's direction. And her smile did not reach her eyes - instead there was a look that suggested to him the very burdens of his own heart- longing, heartache and fear.

Indeed, Miss Bennet's whole aspect forged a strange, new impression in him. He was involuntarily reminded of another sister... his own, and as they moved down the line together he almost felt a sense of fierce protectiveness. He could not help but see a resemblance, not in appearance but in character, in that moment his heart and mind merged Georgiana with Miss Bennet, and though he knew the situations were entirely different, what he saw was that not only did they share a similar nature of sweetness and gentleness, there was also the lovesick sadness that both carried, and attempted to hide. Still, he cajoled himself – she had not shown any particular regard for his friend, and it did not change the unsuitableness of her circumstances. Perhaps her melancholy nature was more from the reminder of lost opportunities he hoped – he could not know her as well as his own sister, so he would not feel accountable for her sadness. He had been so lost in these thoughts he almost missed her words.

"You must excuse my surprise earlier," her voice was quiet but not as timid as he would have expected, "your appearance, that and Mr Bingley's was so wholly unexpected to me."

"Yes, we did not learn of your attendance this evening until a few moments before."

She seemed to hesitate with her reply, and he noted a change in her demeanour during the pause, less deferential, more confident. "Yes, I understand that to be so, sir, but I knew of your attendance before your approach. When your party first arrived this evening, I was near the front passage, and I believe Miss Bingley saw me, I did raise a hand- but her lack of response… her manner led me to believe that..."

He was silent through this, and as her voice drifted into awkward unspoken thoughts, he understood. Miss Bingley had snubbed her, had given the impression that her society would not be sought. He knew that there had been limited communication between the two women over the last few weeks, he had supported that scheme. Miss Bingley had purposely let the acquaintance dull, but to not even offer a nod of recognition in so public an environment was almost cruel. Especially to one who's heart was so tender. Perhaps this was the true source of her despondency - not from the loss of Bingley but from the lack of acknowledgement from former friends. He apologised and offered some excuse - that Miss Bingley had been complaining earlier of an aching head but insisted on attending - and reminded himself, despite the gnawing sense of fault, not to feel guilt over his past actions, he was in the right. He could not help Miss Bingley's incivility. Wishing to shift her attention, he asked after her family.

"They are very well, I believe. I miss them greatly, especially my sister Elizabeth."

The name tugged at his heart, but he kept an impassive gaze, "I am surprised then that she did not accompany you and the Gardiners."

"In the past she has, but this time she chose not to, because of the wedding."

His heart reacted first once more and it was a challenge to school his face. He did not even speak, swallowing hard the bitter pill that was the possibility he feared, as she continued, "you might recall our cousin, Mr Collins?" Again his heart made conclusions before Miss Bennet added, "he has wed our dear friend, Charlotte Lucas."

"Indeed, how excellent for them." He wondered if she knew the effect her simple statement had on him, and yet there was no indication in her countenance.

"Yes, it is. So Lizzy has travelled to Kent to visit her friend, and has been there for the last fortnight. I understand that she has become acquainted with your aunt, Lady Catherine, and she writes fondly of Rosings - particularly the grounds."

With this he was split almost completely, half hope and half fear - he was to travel to Kent in the morning.

She continued to relate news from her sister, but his attention was distracted. Darcy was sure that Miss Elizabeth would not find the house at Rosings all that pleasing, but the thought of her enjoying the park, walking through the groves and down the paths that he enjoyed, that were almost as familiar to him as his home, was painfully delightful. Once more his body reacted traitorously as his lungs seemed to not expand with air and his heart pounded beneath them. Attempting to subdue both the emotions and the thoughts, he closed his eyes for a moment as though to hide from the image in his mind of the brown eyes that sparkled so pleasantly. He had to change the subject – how foolish of him to ask about her- he had to speak of something else before his demeanour gave away his true affections.

"And the rest of your family remains at home? Has Hertfordshire changed much since last November?"

Jane spoke of the few changes to society, though she admitted she knew only as much as her mother and sisters wrote to her. Blushing she added, "Mostly they write of time spent with the militia."

Darcy would have ignored this comment were it not for the very subtle curiosity in her eyes. She continued with this thought then, in a manner that had far more assertion than he even would have considered her capable. "I understand that you have a connection with them, with Mr Wickham? Though it is no longer kept? So it cannot be a loss for you to have departed from Hertfordshire, when you did."

If only she was aware of how much of a loss it had been for him to depart from Hertfordshire, only for a different reason. He cleared his throat, and decided to state his thoughts of that gentleman, to have her (and hopefully her sister) be certain of them. "I do not mourn the loss of that connection, no – Mr Wickham is not the kind of man I would seek the company of, nor encourage others to, though I cannot prevent them from doing so, if they wish."

She nodded, and he watched her carefully considering this. She had drawn on such tenacity that he had wondered if her words were meant to provoke – but now she did not challenge or question him, it was so unlike the way in which another Miss Bennet might react. He came to the conclusion that she simply wished to understand the connection better, and he felt some appreciation for her kind nature. That shade of error on his assumptions returned, stronger now, and yet Fitzwilliam Darcy could be as stubborn as a dog with a bone.

"I do hope that it was not his being in Meryton that was the cause of your departure, nor the reason for you all to not have returned." She murmured this, in a voice quieter than she had spoken before, and Darcy thought it was not meant to be heard. But he had heard it, and his indignant self bristled at such a concept - he had not run from Wickham! He thought to tell her so, but such a response might lead to further discussion on the subject, and she might question what he had run from. Her words had been a statement more than a response, and so he remained mute.

The dance was nearing its end, and still Bingley had not been moved from her relations side. Darcy began to worry he would have to delay her longer, the guilt that was slowly filling his mind, even with that thought, could not chase away his firm intentions to protect his friend from a poor match, but her next words distracted him from any of his plans.

"Tell me, Mr Darcy – why did you all leave Netherfield last November?" She had spoken so quietly again, but now her tone and manner were all polite inquiry- any one near might think they were engaged in casual discussion. He was almost annoyed that she had asked one of the questions he was trying to avoid, but her eyes held such pleading sincerity that he could not look away and feared being false to, he could not blame her for asking now that she had this opportunity- she may have been puzzling over this question for months if she had seen through the ruse that was Miss Bingley's farewell note. He struggled to reply – to lie would be an act of treachery to his own strict standards of morality and decency, to admit the truth would crush her gentle soul. As the last of the music faded and the dancers stopped moving he chose to remain silent. He led them both back to their waiting company, as though the last question had not been asked.

* * *

 **AN:** OK another note just in case, this is not a DarcyxJane story, I like our original couples as they are thank you! I would love to hear thoughts/ responses/ questions (but I wont guarantee an answer!) so leave me a review!


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:**

Finally - a second chapter! I have struggled in vain (ha ha ha) to get this one written. I just want to thank the folks who reviewed so many months ago - it's incredibly gratifying to know that whats been written is enjoyed/raised questions/stirred interest - and if you've come back to continue the story with me, I thank you for your patience :)

 **Disclaimer-** Pride and Prejudice, it's characters and settings are the work of Jane Austen.

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

 **Outside of Meryton Village, Hertfordshire - November 1811**

His ride's hooves did not leave any obvious mark as they pounded across the field, but Darcy allowed himself to imagine a scar being drawn in the earth behind the beast that he rode. His normally pragmatic mind had been set aside for the moment as he galloped in the direction opposite to where he had just been. He pretended for a few more strides not to hear his friend's horse following, attempting to meet his pace, before relinquishing the tension on the reins and allowing his mount to slow.

"Darcy?" Bingley called once more, confusion and concern evident in his voice.

They had meant to take a casual ride that morning, it had been his friend's suggestion and as the guest, Darcy had agreed. That morning, as with the day before, he would have preferred a solo hour or two of exercise to process the unsought stirrings he had begun to feel. He had little choice in the matter though, Bingley was not to be refused. They had ridden out in no particular direction, and the main house was barely out of sight when Bingley had brought up his true intent. Perhaps, he had suggested, they should ride for the local village, and call upon the Bennets – if only to inquire after the health of the eldest daughter. It had, after all, been two whole days since she had completed her recuperation at Netherfield. Darcy had agreed – reluctantly. Aside for his apprehension over Bingley's regard for that young lady, his own heart's emerging betrayal while in the same house as her sister was a good as any reason _not_ to seek that family's acquaintance further.

Still, the weather was good and the ride easy, with such pleased and eager to please company, Darcy found himself distracted at the least. Distracted enough to not see the small party that had gathered in the main street of Meryton, that Bingley headed towards almost as soon as they entered the village. Distracted until they were right upon the additional company and then his traitorous heart pounded at the very sight of her. And a new distraction presented itself from his awareness of the rest of the group. Preoccupied as he was with both internal admonishment for his unsuitable emotions and a determination not to fix his eyes upon her, it was some time before he noted that rest of the party included two males who were wholly unknown to him, and one whom, unfortunately, was not.

There was disbelief and denial for the briefest moment- as his eyes beheld the scene, his brain refused the reality. George Wickham, in the same part of the country has he was – standing next to and evidently making an amiable impression on Elizabeth Bennet. It could not be providence or coincidence – his mind was sure – this had to be some stranger with remarkably similar features. And then, Wickham nodded his head in the smallest acknowledgement of him and Darcy was sure. The devil who was his childhood companion had returned once more to bring strife and woe. Could it be possible that he had sought out this place just to exact some vile form of retaliation? In his youth, Darcy might not have considered Wickham to act so contemptibly, but with his matured knowledge of the world and after the events of the previous summer, he knew better. Wickham could sink to such a level, and his composed smile and nod was obvious evidence that he knew Darcy to be a guest at a local house, and that some wicked intentions had brought him to the same place.

It was not to be tolerated. Overcome with conflicting responses and not wishing to behave in some false manner, Darcy turned his horse about and booted the beast into a gallop.

It was an affront to his dignity to be the one to turn away first, but to publicly acknowledge Wickham in a manner that was polite enough for the company present would have been a lie. The very presence of that man sickened him. He was compelled to get away, as quickly and discretely as possible.

When Bingley's horse finally drew level with his own, Darcy had regained much of his valued composure. His chest still heaved, but he could claim that it was from the exertion of the ride and not from the encounter in the Meryton street. Darcy took several deep breaths, savouring the clean air of the field, wishing for it to also clean his mind. Bingley, most likely from before he was within earshot, had been rambling in some questioning manner, but it was not until he had asked for the third time "What the devil has possessed you?" that he was heard by his friend.

"Forgive me, " Darcy kept his speech deliberate and unemotional, the opposite of how he felt. "I cannot account for my actions, though I know them to be discourteous."

Bingley did not respond, and they rode along together in silence for most of the journey back to Netherfield - it would have been far too difficult for Bingley to remain entirely mute during the half hour. His easy reception of the apology and tolerance of the limited justification was why Darcy appreciated this friendship. Bingley understood when not to press the subject, when to remain silent and allow Darcy his space - which must have been a suppression of his true nature, as the younger man did love to converse. Many others would attempt to compel an explanation from Darcy, while Bingley received the implied request for privacy without protest.

It was only as they neared the stables though that Darcy actually heard the idea that his friend was voicing - inviting **all** of the officers to his ball, as it appeared they would be pleasant company. In the moment it took to dismount his horse and hand the reins to a groom Darcy made a decision - he had to get out of Hertfordshire, at the earliest convenience and it probably would be best if he took his friend with him.

* * *

 **The road somewhere between London and Rosings Park, Kent – March 1812**

Their carriage moved forward at a most sluggish rate, which Darcy did not mind. He had delayed their departure from London for two days and still found the little reason to hurry towards their destination. As much as he might wish it, his fate could not be postponed, he had committed to attending his aunt faithfully for almost a decade - never before had there been a case to cancel. Even his personal wishes were ignored in the need to fulfill his duty to his family. The inevitability of it all helped – he had promised to visit Rosings and to Rosings he would go. Darcy covered his disquiet with a mask of boredom and resignation, though he was sure his cousin could easily observe his state of apprehension. Colonel Fitzwilliam had not guessed that there happened to be a new influence over his cousin's quiet mood, neither of the gentlemen relished their trips to Kent, and so neither gentleman spoke on that matter.

Once they had driven out of the city and exhausted all of Fitzwilliam's subjects for conversation, a companionable silence had settled inside the carriage. The Colonel, bored with the lack of employment, was lulled to sleep by the rocking motion of their vehicle, and Darcy had some privacy to stew and plan. He wanted to turn tail and head back to London - no, to Derbyshire. To be home and not to be faced with confrontation or temptation. He could not though, and even given the chance - he would not, he was a man of eight and twenty, and not a coward. He would find a way to endure the company in Kent and resist any action that acknowledged his subversive heart.

They had set out late in the morning, and had only paused for a light meal, so the journey would not take much longer - it was time enough though. And he was sure that they would not be required to call on the parsonage for days, perhaps at all. Darcy watched as the green fields and shrubbery passed through the nearest carriage window – scenes which were so familiar from his frequent travels down that particular high-road, but he had never really taken notice of the countryside in Kent before. Perhaps, if he were very fortunate, he would not have to see the occupants of the parsonage at all. It was very unlikely - but a man could hope.

Had it not been for the unfortunate meeting at the Mortimer's ball, he would be feeling only the customary sufferance of that road, rather than concerns he currently experienced. Had he only found a way to deter his friend from further time spent with Miss Bennet, he might not now have the tumultuous expectation of the next fortnight. At least he had been granted the notice of this fresh cause to dread any time at Rosings Park, and could rally himself in preparation.

His dance with Miss Bennet had ended, and he hoped in vain a reason to excuse his friend from her company would present itself before they had returned to where Bingley had waited. His friend had clearly made a favourable impression on the Gardiners, all three persons smiled broadly in their direction. It was clear they had been engaged in an easy conversation, which was dropped upon Darcy and Miss Bennet's approach. For a few moments instead Mr Gardiner and Bingley cheerfully complimented their dancing, and then Bingley easily turned the topic into a request to be Miss Bennet's partner for the next set of dances. Hoping to hide his grimace, Darcy accepted that there was no way to prevent this. Instead he had carefully watched her reply – to determine any level of joy or pleasure in this partner. Miss Bennet hesitated, for the briefest of moments - but it was enough for him to notice. While she did then smile prettily and accept the offer, she had wavered and it was enough to make Darcy sure of his convictions. The depth of her regard did not match Bingley's attentions.

The summoning chords of the next dance drew that couple away, and left Darcy with the Gardiners, in silence as they watched the dancers. Darcy was not yet comfortable in their acquaintance to pursue any conversation but he was content to remain mute and still while the party flowed around him like a rock in the midst of a stream. It had always been his perfunctory position in such circumstances. The Gardiners had also seemed content to exchange only with each other, and so it would have likely remained for the rest of Bingley and Miss Bennet's dance - had it not been for the softening of music at the same moment when Mrs Gardiner had spoken _her_ name.

"You must agree, dear," Mrs Gardiner responded to a statement from her husband that Darcy had not heard, "what we have seen is not how Lizzy described."

"But I do not doubt it," Mr Gardiner murmured, "friend of Mr Bingley, owner of Pemberley, it must be the same man."

As Darcy had stood to one side of them, the Gardiners had wrongly assumed some privacy. Though it would be rude to do so, he had wanted to hear more. And his traitorous heart had rejoiced to hear that _she_ had spoken of him to her relations - in what manner had she portrayed him? With some consternation he had wondered why his impression that evening would be any different from that which she would recount.

He had not the time to consider this in depth though as Mr Gardiner had continued, evidently unaware of the attention they now received, "though Lizzy has the benefit of several weeks of association."

"I am more inclined to believe her with Wickham's substantiation." His wife had replied, and Darcy almost vocally responded to this, as though he had been physically wounded by the words. To think that she had given some account that was _supported_ by the lies of that dastard. He had suspected that she had shown some friendship towards Wickham, but that her opinion was swayed by a scoundrel - if only he could risk revealing the truth of it. Darcy had fumed and fought with his desire to speak plainly - but it would never improve her and their impression of him if he were to suddenly and bitterly interrupt with the truth. He was deterred then by the evasion he had sought earlier.

Their new arrangement had revealed their position to the room and from amongst her friends Caroline Bingley had spied them. Her approach was so near by this time and Darcy barely heard any more of the exchange after Mr Gardiner's return, "Unless her representation was coloured by a tale from her favourite."

This had riled him further, could it be possible that Miss Bennet so valued Wickham's society? His face flushed then drained with anger, and he was sure it was obvious how he struggled to maintain any composure. It was fortunate then than Miss Bingley, obviously unaware of their grouping, had addressed him, "Mr Darcy? Did you find Mr Hurst? Where is Charles? What has taken you so long?"

He had responded with the locations of both gentlemen before indicating the couple on his other side and introducing Miss Bingey to them. Caroline had smiled in their direction as graciously as she could, and as quickly as she could ignored them. An option to politely escape the company of the Gardiners and distract himself from these unnecessary concerns of what Miss Bennet might think of him was so conveniently presented, he had acted swiftly, inviting Miss Bingley to dance. She had paused - undecided between standing up with the most eligible bachelor in the room, and the problem of whom her brother danced with. Eventually she accepted and they moved out to join the rest of the dancers. For a time, they had danced together in silence, his contemplative and hers seething. It was only when Jane and Mr Bingley assumed a position at the top of the line during the course of the dance that she was to speak.

"I cannot believe you allowed Charles to resume his attentions where they are so poorly spent!"

"Your brother is a grown man - I can hardly lead him away like a horse to stable."

"You are his dearest friend, you know that he will heed any advice you give."

"I am sure of this but now that he has seen her, he will be deaf to me." He would not confirm it aloud, especially not to Miss Bingley but now that Bingley knew Miss Bennet was in town he could not lie to Bingley or himself on the matter. He had to also accept that separation was not always the means of weaning affection, indeed the absence could make one fonder - it had appeared that it was so for his friend, and he lamented - it could be for himself if he was not careful. Of both circumstances though he was now unsure if the affection might be fully reciprocated. "We should simply allow him the company as he desires it. You know your brother as well as I - he will soon tire of her here in town, there are so many other diversions that her presence will not cause such a stir in him."

Despite his assurances, which were more hope and less certainty than he aired, Miss Bingley would not be settled on the subject and she had persisted. Darcy found he could only silence her that evening with the warning - "the harm has occurred Miss Bingley, he has seen her, danced with her - he knows she is in town. Any action on our parts might raise his suspicion of what has previously been done."

With this the dance had ended and he had returned her to the small cluster of her acquaintances on the other side of the room - he would not risk any encounter between Miss Bingley and Miss Bennet or her relations. In retrospect now he could admit his determination to hear more from these relations - as his ire had calmed and he felt it within his capabilities to not expose his passion in speaking with them. Miss Bingley's presence would have prevented any further conversation on the matters he had interest in - most particularly he had thought to learn more of the lies George Wickham has fed the society of Meryton.

Unfortunately he was prevented from such endeavours by the return of Bingley and Miss Bennet, who both wore a satisfied look on their features- his was almost smug whilst hers was a more reserved joy. Darcy had wondered if Miss Bennet's hesitancy earlier was simply imagination, for after their dance she frequently sent his friend coy but fond glances. He envied Bingley for those glances.

With their return, Mr Gardiner had appeared eager to resume a subject from earlier, explaining to Darcy and Miss Bennet, "we were discussing Mr Bingley's impressions of Hertfordshire, and Meryton, as I understand he has been quite taken with your home country Jane, is that not pleasing to hear?"

"Oh yes," Mr Bingley gushed, "I think it is the most charming place - in fact, I would declare it to be the most excellent region in all of the country! By far more beautiful than any I have been to before."

Mr Gardiner chuckled and winked at his wife, "Truly Mr Bingley, I am surprised by this - and I believe Mrs Gardiner would contend with this declaration. For while she has frequently visited that town, she has determined that no place should be more celebrated than the region of her youth. Though perhaps it was the society of Hertfordshire that much improved it's attraction for you."

Mr Bingley's eye had immediately turned to the main attraction in the Hertfordshire society, and Mr Darcy did observe that while she blushed, Jane Bennet longingly met his gaze. The Gardiners seemed to find great amusement at something unsaid until Mrs Gardiner agreed with her husband out loud - "it is true, I think there is no finer place on earth than Lambton, and to a further extent - Derbyshire as a county."

The mention of this village turned Darcy's attention from his subtle observations of Jane Bennet, and he was about to question the lady when Bingley anticipated him.

"Lambton? Is that not the little town nearest Pemberley, Darcy? A sweetly placed hamlet that would be what - 10 miles from the house?"

"Five miles." Both Mrs Gardiner and Mr Darcy corrected him as one voice, and there was a moment of connection between the two that had brought a smile from the lady and a look of appreciation from the gentleman.

"I must agree with you," Darcy had finally added with a slight bow towards Mrs Gardiner, "I would say that while Hertfordshire holds many charms, it is no equal to Derbyshire - though I may have some bias on that matter."

"It seems, Mr Bingley, that you are out-voted, unless my niece - as a Hertfordshire native - might support you." Mr Gardiner's voice seemed to be a verbal nudge towards Miss Bennet, as she had been looking up at Bingley and not attending to discussion. With the reference she had started, and then paused for a moment.

"I would say," she offered in a quiet voice, "that Mr Bingley's assertions please me greatly, and I cannot compare Meryton or Hertfordshire to a place where I have not had the pleasure to travel." Her diplomatic contribution to what had begun to be a friendly debate was disappointing to her aunt and uncle, but she had not stopped there. "Mr Bingley, however, I know to be more experienced in travelling, and therefore I believe he has been overly generous in his compliments of my home. I cannot account for it, except that he means to flatter, and perhaps that is within his nature to do so when he may."

Her teasing remark had made her uncle laugh out loud, and impressed Darcy, especially in the way it had made Bingley's cheeks flush. It reminded him very much of her sister. Mrs Gardiner though had found cause to address Darcy, "How I have often dreamed of my days in Lambton. I'm afraid it has been some time since I have been there - can you tell me, do you go there often? Is there still a quaint, simple feel to the place?"

Despite himself, Darcy had answered her honestly, ""I do, as frequently as I might when I am at home - though this is not as often as I'd like. I would not know if there is _still_ such a feel - but I would agree with you - Lambton is quaint and charming."

"Oh I would like very much to see that part of the country again. Once, I did have the honour of touring Pemberley, it is the pride of the shire - the house itself is so very elegant but it is the grounds which I most recall - some of the finest in the country I believe. I understand why you might wish to be there more often."

Darcy had not known how to respond to these compliments - so frequently did he hear such comments in society, that he might consider the speaker of such a sycophant and the flattery given to be fawning pleasantries. Mrs Gardiner had given the impression though that her words were genuine and an attempt to continue the agreeable conversation with a new acquaintance. Darcy wished to accept her appreciation for the supposed meaning, however, he could not help but wonder what her intentions in the subject were. With all of the party still watching him, he had added, " indeed - I have always felt honored for my family's home."

"I understand, sir, that another of our acquaintance at one time considered the place his home," Mr Gardiner had asked, glancing at Jane and Mrs Gardiner for confirmation, "we had the met him while in Hertfordshire - a George Wickham. I understand he was once connected to your family?"

Despite his skepticism of the wife's flattery and his desire to see some resemblance between the gentleman and his ill-mannered sister, Darcy had not been ready for such a line of questioning but his composure was not to be so easily rattled.

"He was, for a time, however it has been a greater amount of time since I have considered him less than an acquaintance." He replied stiffly, schooling his face to show as little emotion as he could. None of his audience appeared surprised by this admission - and why would they - Bingley was acquainted with their history to a degree, and this was a confirmation that Wickham had shared false confidences to any sympathetic ear in Hertfordshire. "You must excuse me from commenting further on the subject, I am afraid it is not one I would address casually. Whatever matters from our past, I would choose to remain silent rather than spread defamation."

Darcy had cursed himself for his failure to confront the matter, as he had been moved to do earlier - but both Mr and Mrs Gardiner, as well as Miss Bennet looked upon him with commendation and the subject of Wickham was set aside for more perfunctory topics, led mostly by Bingley and Mr Gardiner. For another half hour, Darcy and Bingley had remained with them, and Darcy found himself growing at ease in the couples company - though it took effort for him. His doubts of their character thawed the more he took note of their encouraging and affable natures.

In truth Darcy thought now with some discontent - if he had only met and known the two eldest Miss Bennets with this aunt and uncle - had he never been witness to the unsuitability of their mother and younger sisters, there would have been less objection to a match between his friend and Jane Bennet. Or even, indeed he might have felt more comfort in exhibiting his regard to Elizabeth Bennet. Knowing their amiable relations though did not lighten the problem of the Gardiner's want of connection and social rank, and this, he assured himself, would have been a defect of either coupling.

It was in the departure of the Gardiners and Miss Bennet from the Mortimers house that Darcy's state of concern over his trip to Kent had begun. Bingley had insisted on escorting the party to their carriage, and Darcy had followed, if only to ensure his friend did not clamber into their transport in his enthusiasm for their company. As his friend farewelled her relations, Miss Bennet had slipped backwards to address him separately.

"Mr Darcy," she had looked up at him with such rigid determination, it would have surprised him had it not been for her aspect during their earlier dance. "I have learnt from Mr Bingley that you will soon be in Kent, to visit your aunt. You will be in the same country as my sister, Elizabeth - perhaps even in the same company?"

He had been silent, and she had taken this as encouragement, continuing, "on this night I have also heard you declare over again a warning of acquaintance with Mr Wickham but you may not be aware of his latest news - that he is engaged."

With this Darcy forced his heart not to pound until she had finished - it could not be, it could never be that Wickham had been so accepted by _her_. He may have been her _favourite_ as her uncle had suggested, but Wickham would never have been tempted into such an arrangement. And if he had, for some reason wholly unknown to Darcy, could Elizabeth Bennet be so charmed by Wickham's pretense?

"I would beg a favour of you, sir," Miss Bennet had finished, her eyes now softened to pleading sweetness. "I will not ask of the particulars of your history with that gentleman for myself, but I believe that my sister should know of it, please address her with what you may be willing to share. And if you are unable, at least speak with her what you have said on this night."

Darcy was sure that the sound of his heart's bruising beat had been heard by all persons present. What could she have meant by it all? Why would Elizabeth Bennet need to know his history with Wickham - _unless_ she had entered into an arrangement with that undeserving swine. It made him ill to think of it. Whatever may be the sentiments or situation which Wickham has created, they now motivated him to better inform Elizabeth Bennet. How to proceed had been his botheration since though. Even now, as he rode towards the place she currently resided, he was deterred from any spontaneous action to answer the request. How could he possibly respond? Why should she accept his report? Aware of his many options, he still feared what paths were presented before him, feared what he might learn if he did met with Elizabeth Bennet.

The first sign of their imminent arrival was the lane which lead towards Hunsford - from this point the boundary palings of Rosings lined the road. Darcy thought to stir his cousin but found now that Colonel Fitzwiliam had awoken and was cheerfully anticipating the end of their journey. For most of the journey Darcy had been staring out into the passing countryside, recalling the night at the Mortimers, and he was still undecided. With his cousin's attention now gained, the Colonel was happy to lead any discourse, even if there was limited response. Despite his cousin's best efforts Darcy could not turn his mind from the events that had led him to this fate - that the excuse to justify any separation of Bingley from Miss Bennet came too late, that despite Darcy's initial discernment he had formed a favourable opinion of the Gardiners, that he had learnt too much (and yet not enough!) of Elizabeth Bennet, that Jane Bennet had been allowed a moment to request anything from Darcy. Damned circumstances!

At least, he damned them until they passed through the main entrance on the Rosings grounds and spied a black cloaked figure, failing his arms with all eagerness at their carriage. The Colonel had moved to stop the coachman, but Darcy had recognised the stranger and blocked his cousin. All thought of damn circumstances and uncertain futures were set aside as Darcy hardened his mind - the company of his aunt and her parson required it.

"Do you know that man?" Fitzwilliam wondered with a playful grin.

"He is the new parson at Hunsford."

Fitzwilliam appeared surprised and impressed, leaning forward to look back out at shrinking figure in the distance. "I thought he was only appointed last Easter? How do you know him?"

"He was visiting relations in Hertfordshire while I was also in the same country."

This admission sparked the Colonel's interest. When they had met briefly on Darcy's return to London, there had been hints of a _need_ to get out of that country - as a service to his friend, and Fitzwilliam had looked forward to further explanation from his cousin during this trip, whilst they had some privacy. Instead, Darcy had been somber and withheld any detail. Again the Colonel attempted to gain the information of those events.

"Ah during your stay with Bingley? How is that fellow? Shall he return to Hertfordshire for the summer?"

Darcy knew not how to respond- only days ago it seemed likely Bingley would not, but since damned circumstances had taken place even that aspect of the future was unknown. He knew that his friend had declared intentions to do several things though. Their arrival into the main coach yard of the house conveniently prevented any reply he might make to his cousin. They were readily admitted into the house and immediately ushered into the company of their aunt, whose preeminence meant that the subject had to be put off for another time.


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors Note:** Hello and thank you for continuing this story with me! While I'm making small changes to the original story as I go, please note:  
 **Disclaimer-** Pride and Prejudice, it's characters and settings are the work of Jane Austen. Sections in italics are taken directly from Pride and Prejudice, the novel OR the 1995 BBC Mini series (mmm Colin Firth)

And please review! I have the next 10 or so chapters planned - getting reviews is one of the BEST motivations to keep writing.

* * *

 **Chapter 3**

 **Hunsford Rectory, Kent** **– March 1812**

Elizabeth Bennet had been a guest in the Hunsford parsonage for over a fortnight, though she had yet to explore the full extent of Rosings Park. Each day she would enjoy a walk in both familiar and new parts of the grounds that delighted her. Days spent at the parsonage were rather repetitive, so she purposely sought this variation. Unlike her own family, none of the residents slept very late in the house, breaking their fast together before assuming their independent occupations for the day. The pace in Longbourne was leisurely in comparison. Mr Collins spent a great deal of time in either his book room or the garden - his role in the church rarely demanded daily employment. With the approach of the Easter celebration though, he was much occupied with the burden of a third original sermon since his ordination. He found his patroness a great source of guidance in this matter as with most. Unless he knew of set engagements, he would call up at the main house at some time during the day, though Elizabeth was not convinced he had access to Lady Catherine on every occasion.

Charlotte was more active in her role as the wife of the parson, most mornings she would spend an hour or two tending to the parish - whether it was hearing the grievances of those who were not worthy of Lady Catherine's condescension, or providing for the mortal needs of parishioners whom Lady Catherine had deemed the 'deserving poor'. Her engagement in these matters originated mostly from the commission she received in her marriage rather than any charity or compassion in her character, but Elizabeth still admired her friend for her endeavours. During recent days Charlotte was accompanied by her sister and friend on this business, which also allowed them opportunity to know the population of Hunsford better. There were not many families of equal standing to engage with, and unlike the neighbourhood of Meryton where ceremony was often set aside, here the social boundaries were strictly enforced, and the style of living of the neighbourhood in general was beyond the Collinses' reach. Civil relations with Charlotte's new neighbours was also impeded by her husbands insistence that evenings were always kept free on the chance that Lady Catherine might send for them. They had dined at Rosings twice a week already, but with part of that number, the invitation had occurred so late that Elizabeth did wonder if they were required only when Lady Catherine could not source other company.

Now and then, they were honoured with a call from her ladyship, and nothing escaped her observation that was passing in the room during these visits. She examined into their employments, and advised them to do it differently with both Elizabeth's and Maria's crafts earning particular attention as she had such limited time to improve them. Her calls would often produce great activity at the parsonage for she usually found fault with the arrangement of the furniture, or detected the housemaid in negligence, and both the Collinses would not rest until the sins were repented for and corrected.

Charlotte and Mr Collins were perfectly content with the routine and while it was no evil to Elizabeth - she spent her time comfortably enough after all there were half hours of pleasant conversation with Charlotte - she could not sustain such an existence. With some observation, she came to the conclusion that the match between her friend and Mr Collins had been fortuitous for both he and his bride though. And as the weather was so fine for the time of year, that she had often great enjoyment out of doors. Her favourite walk, and where she frequently went was along the open grove which edged that side of the park, where there was a nice sheltered path, which no one seemed to value but herself, and where she felt beyond the reach of Lady Catherine's curiosity.

In this quiet way, the first fortnight of her visit soon passed away, however, from the earliest days of their time in Kent she had learnt of the expected arrival of Lady Catherine's nephews, one of which she believed would most likely bother the peace of their arrangement. And as the hour of that arrival drew near, she found herself agitated and concerned once more with matters she had not meant to pack in her luggage. It could be said that with each of Jane's letters, filled as they were with wilted hope, Elizabeth had spared thoughts towards Mr Bingley and his poor choices, but not his friend.  
And since his engagement to Miss King, and their amicable farewells in Meryton, she had set aside all musings of Mr Wickham - for with his impending marriage, any interest felt by either of them must be rescinded and the match was mercenary enough to resolve all his former troubles. Even before his engagement, she had known herself to not be in love with that man, and was only slightly disappointed by it - despite her Aunt Gardiner's commiserations.  
Still, she felt that even the coming of the abominable Mr Darcy could be agreeable as it would furnish one comparatively new to look at in their Rosings parties, and she might be amused in seeing how hopeless Miss Bingley's designs on him were, by his behaviour to his cousin, for whom he was evidently destined by Lady Catherine.

Of the other nephew Elizabeth knew not what to expect - for while Lady Catherine spoke a great deal of Mr Darcy in terms of the highest admiration, and of his coming with the greatest satisfaction, very little was reported about the other gentleman - except that he was the second son of her brother, the Earl of B- and a colonel with a celebrated career.

Their arrival was soon known at the Parsonage, for Mr. Collins was walking the whole morning within view of the lodges opening into Hunsford Lane, in order to have the earliest assurance of it; and after showing all proper acknowledgement of elevation as the carriage turned into the park, hurried home with the great intelligence.

* * *

 **Rosings Park, Kent** **– March 1812**

The great house at Rosings Park was not an old building. The design was modern and typical palladian style, though it's size and setting left it to be more imposing and unreceptive than it's architect had intended. While the grounds themselves had long been the home of the de Bourgh family - it was with Sir Lewis de Bourgh's elevation that the need for such a grand building arose. This was fortuitous as it was both the grandiose of the exteriors and bareness of the interiors which tempted the daughter of the former Earl of B- to accept his suit. Prior to their marriage, Lady Catherine Fitzwilliam, as the Earl's eldest daughter, had expected to be matched with a wealthy and titled husband. When her younger sister had become engaged though, she was driven to accept the newly styled Lewis, despite the lack of affection or familiarity, with the compromise and convenience of arranging the house and property to her taste. Sir Lewis, over a decade her senior, had a deferential spirit, and it was through the efforts of his bride that Rosings Park was distinguished throughout the country.

Sir Lewis also found benefits in his marriage - with it he was able to produce an heir and though he did not live to see her fourteenth birthday, he cared greatly for his daughter. There was little passion between the husband and wife but her family provided him satisfying society in his later years - as the only remaining sons in their respective families, Sir Lewis and George Darcy recognized some affinity in each other and they were soon easy companions. He was also a great favourite of all of his nephews - but his enthusiasm for military subjects meant an attachment between him and Colonel Fitzwilliam formed from when the younger man's commission as a captain was bought.

It was due to these alliances that the younger Mr Darcy was first sent to Rosings by his father and his cousin, a Major Fitzwilliam at the time, accompanied him. They were to attend to his aunt following the unexpected death of Sir Lewis from a strange sickness that had suddenly and violently struck late one summer. A sickness that his daughter, Anne, would survive but would always be weakened by. The arrangement had become a tradition, even after the death of the elder Mr Darcy, and despite their personal feelings on the matter - Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam alighted from the carriage out the front of Rosings house and were readily admitted.

They were shown immediately to Lady Catherine's preferred parlor and greeted with a barrage of questions of their journey, none of which required a response. Their aunt lamented the hour of their arrival - for there would not be any opportunity to sit long before they were needed to ready themselves for her guests that evening. She wondered at the reasons for their delay but dismissed any of Fitzwilliam's attempted apologies or excuses. Darcy simply bowed politely in both his aunt and cousin's direction and allowed Fitzwilliam to take the brunt of Lady Catherine's onslaught, which that gentleman did so with much affability and deference. The conversation, or rather Lady Catherine's sermon, was soon turned towards the goings of her neighbours.

"Mr Webb only called this morning, in gratitude for the ham which I had sent his family. And since your stay last year, I have installed a new parson for the parish - Mr Clarke has retired to the south as his health was so poor." She concluded, "Mr Collins is newly ordained and requires my attention often, but he is excessively gratified by it and has improved greatly with my encouragement. Just a six-month ago I instructed him to bring home a wife, and he is now married."

"I believe we saw the gentleman at your gates," Colonel Fitzwilliam chuckled in reply, causing Lady Catherine to frown slightly. "I am all eagerness to meet him."

"Yes, well," she continued, "you may call on him and Mrs Collins in the morrow, or the next - for this evening I require your presence as we shall dine with Lady Metcalfe and her daughter, Henrietta."

This did make Fitzwilliam shift uncomfortably but he was soon in humorous spirits again. He was relieved of his aunt's frown for, after a moments thought and with a deeper frown, Lady Catherine had turned in Darcy's direction.

"Mrs Collins is being visited by her sister and friend this month. Her father came with them, a Sir Lucas - though I am sure I have not heard of that family before. Mrs Collins is a sensible young women, and you shall see - she is properly genteel, modestly plain, not at all brought up too high, unlike her friend - a Miss Bennet. At first, I thought her like her friend with some courteous enough manners. _She_ is a daughter of a gentleman, I believe, and may be pretty but there is something of a lack of reserve that is unflattering in a gentlewoman. Whilst she is not entirely irredeemable - I learnt that she has some ability to play and sing - I have not heard her perform, and as she admits to an unconventional rearing, I doubt she may exhibit with any talent. Her boldness though is what offends. It is not surprising given that sort of upbringing that she might be so forthright- she gives her opinion far too decidedly for her age and shows little deference in the presence of rank - it is quite unbecoming. Though you would know all this, would you not, Darcy?"

Lady Catherine's tone was harsh, almost irate, but the triumph of her implication made Fitzwilliam steal a quick and curious glance at his cousin. Darcy maintained his indifferent countenance as his aunt continued with her heated accusations, fearful of revealing any of his true feelings. "Did you not make their acquaintance already - but that was before, when Mrs Collins was Miss Lucas? They have told me so - you were in Hertfordshire and met with them on many occasions. I am sure you might agree with me then, on Miss Bennet's character."

In a quiet and detached way, he replied - once she had paused, "It was _not_ many occasions - though I have been in their company before."

"He neither comes to the girl's defense nor agrees with you," Colonel Fitzwilliam teased from his chair, his eyes dancing as they moved from his aunt to his cousin.

Lady Catherine continued her complaints, for as well as Miss Bennet's behaviour in her presence, she found great fault in the girl's circumstances - explaining to them about the Bennet family's situation, considering the entail of the estate onto Mr Collins, and her grief on hearing of five daughters raised without a governess, without time in town to see masters. As Darcy was aware of much of this, he chose instead to ignore the conversation; but Colonel Fitzwilliam was an attentive audience, amused at the fierce opposition his aunt seemed to have for this girl, and for her most incriminating characteristic - claiming an acquaintance with Darcy. Having expressed herself thus, Lady Catherine was satisfied in being both heard and supported in her opinions and was settled into changing the conversation to more pleasant subjects.

Darcy himself was neither diverted or assured in the exchange. A disconcerting wave of emotion passed over him and it took all of his resolve not to let any show - his logical mind proclaimed the victory of his previous decisions - he had suspected how his family might react, how they would look upon Elizabeth Bennet's family and situation in life, and why, from the earliest moments of noting her attraction, had he chosen to not show her too much attention. This objection to her person only confirmed what he had thought might occur if his actions had been anything else. He was disappointed though, his heart sunk a little with each of Lady Catherine's denunciations; there actually was no victory in being correct on this matter - he rather wished he had been wrong. If Lady Catherine had approved of her, he might have felt some relief in his interest, it would have been one less struggle that backed his resistance. His logical mind was bolstered by the validation of his actions; why should he change his path now. He longed to be foolish though, at least enough to contradict his relations, to declare that Miss Bennet's intelligence and tenacity should be admired, that they were some of her more appealing attributes, to defend her and claim her for himself. He could not, because he was not a fool - the inferiority of her connections and censure of his were foremost in his mind for many months and prevented him from _forming any serious design_ for her. And from this, and above all of this unsettling sentiment, was the worst feeling of all - shame. His cheeks flushed and his gut ached with it - for his own traitorous heart, for wanting what he should not, for not speaking the truth about the woman he desired.

He was grateful then that he could escape the room, for the clock had struck upon the hour and they all needed to dress for dinner. Retreating to the bedchamber he had used since his first visit to the house, following his uncle's death, Darcy allowed himself a moment to recover and set aside all thought of Elizabeth Bennet for the evening.

The Metcalfes of Bowett Park were pleasant acquaintances of Lady Catherine, and as their eldest daughter had just been introduced in town, it was the ideal time for her to meet Lady Catherine's nephews - most particularly, Colonel Fitzwilliam. Darcy was sure that the conversation during dinner was polite and every praise was given to his aunt for her table, however, try as he might, he could barely attended to the meals placed before him. The tempest of conflict and desire within him would not settle - even when he banished all thought of her from his mind. As Lord Metcalfe was unable to join them that evening, when the ladies removed to the drawing room - Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam were left to their own conversation, and he hoped for some relief. It was not to be, however, as Lady Catherine's persecution of Elizabeth Bennet had stirred Fitzwilliam's interest in the girl.

"I have a venture, which after much thought I would like to put towards you. And you must tell me, Darcy - how my conjecture suits? Give me some answer and I will disclose the grounds of my speculation," he began, swirling his drink in the glass tranquilly. With a nod from his cousin he continued, "it is my belief that this Miss Bennet is, in actuality, quite beautiful."

Darcy attempted to appear thoughtful and shifted in his seat, to delay giving any response. He felt like a rabbit in a snare - caught with little option on how to answer. He would never reveal his entire opinion, Fitzwilliam would find much amusement in the knowledge and most likely make their stay in Kent even more unbearable. His cousin could not be told a lie though - they had been friends for far too long, no doubt he would recognise any fabrication, especially once he met her and formed his own opinions. The subject made Darcy uneasy, and he hoped the hour was near it's end.

As he was considering this, Fitzwilliam grew weary of the silence - "Shall I reveal my process? It has been simple, our aunt spoke of the girl earlier as 'pretty'. Now I suggest that Lady Catherine, while observant to a fault, does not easily compliment and in this matter might only represent half the truth. From this I believe that Miss Bennet must be more than pretty, perhaps even a great beauty, especially when compared to her modest friend - and so, now you must reply. When we call at the parsonage, shall I find a very plain parson's wife and her slightly handsome friend, or will the two - or perhaps only one - be more appealing to the eye?"

"I cannot predict what _you_ might find Richard, as you well know - one man's Aphrodite is another's mediocrity. I recall there were some pleasing features to Miss Bennet's countenance, of Mrs Collins I have less recollection."

Colonel Fitzwilliam chuckled at his diplomacy and made to reply, but was prevented by Darcy's diversion, "I do wonder at your interest in the appearance of a woman in another house, when there is a Miss Metcalfe in the drawing room."

With this Fitzwilliam laughed at little louder, it was satisfying to hear his cousin's usual wit. While Darcy _speaks hardly a word when he comes into Kent, he's lively enough in other places._ His silence even on their journey into the country had been disconcerting. It was Fitzwilliam's turn to consider the matter carefully before making his reply.

"I have some speculation about this Miss Bennet's nature as well, and as we so rarely have varied company in Kent, I wonder about _this_ new company. To be as bold as she must have been, to make such an impression on Lady Catherine - I believe she must be either very bright or rather simple- if the former, I shall be glad and eagerly await her stimulating presence , for I am sure she is a wit and I shall enjoy laughing with her. And if the latter, then I believe I shall be amused with laughing anyway."


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** Huge thanks to everyone that reviewed/followed/favourited - publishing a new chapter can be very nerve-wracking, to receive positive feedback (to know people are reading at all!) is immensely satisfying. I've decided to leave out the place and time settings of these scenes because we aren't moving much about in time or place - so in case any one is wondering - we are still in Kent - it's March 1812  
And as always:

 **Disclaimer-** Pride and Prejudice, it's characters and settings are the work of Jane Austen. Sections in italics are taken directly from Pride and Prejudice, the novel OR the 1995 BBC Mini series :)

* * *

 **Chapter 4**

Mr Collins wasted no time the following day – at the earliest hour that polite calls could be made, he presented himself in the entrance hall of Rosings. Lady Catherine received him alone first, and her nephews were sent for after a half hour, to be introduced to the parson. Darcy had spent the morning in the library - his aunt was not one who placed much importance in books, so the collection had mainly formed through Sir Lewis's efforts, and the room has remained, since that gentleman's death, a quiet refuge in the echoing halls of Rosings. Reading was the occupation which most suited him at that hour - for the literature within his hands cleared his mind. He had no wish for conversation or company, but when a footman appeared in the doorway, he knew his seclusion had expired. Entering the main drawing room, he found his aunt and both of his cousins - as well as Mr Collins. That gentleman was diffusing the great honour he felt in making Colonel Fitzwilliam's acquaintance, but was readily silenced when Lady Catherine perceived Darcy's approach and welcomed him, to this he then added his own welcome.

"I am pleased, nay delighted sir, to hear of your coming hither, it gives me no great pleasure to once again claim your acquaintance, but I also have great joy in that your company has brought to her Ladyship such satisfaction, it is to your credit to truly honour your relations with this trip, and as I was just speaking to Colonel Fitzwilliam, brings much distinction to the parish at the occasion of our Easter celebration, I am sure I might rely on your attendance this Friday and ..."

Lady Catherine spoke for the household cutting the parson off mid-sermon, that they would attend the service on Friday and Easter Morning as they usually did. Darcy had a limited recollection of the gentleman, though the few minutes spent now in the same room prompted some of it; the parson had made an unfavourable impression with his approach and manner at the Netherfield ball - but Darcy had been too consumed with his own concerns to give the man much notice. He had made note of the directed attention Mr Collins had paid Elizabeth Bennet though, and was satisfied that she was safe from him since he had married her friend. The parson's grandiose speech did little to dissuade Darcy from observing his deficiencies both in natural ability and education, but it was clear that Lady Catherine tolerated him, at least for the excessive obligation he showed to her. Colonel Fitzwilliam seemed greatly taken by the parson, and encouraged the conversation with his own questions and quips. After a half hour of sitting together, during which Darcy had not spoken more than two words together and had barely followed the subjects discussed, Mr Collins invited the gentlemen to call at the parsonage at any time, to which Colonel Fitzwilliam eagerly suggested that they accompany him home.

With Lady Catherine's consent, servants were sent to collect their hats and gloves and Fitzwilliam turned to Darcy with an eager smile.

"Now we shall learn the outcome of my wager - are you sure you would not like to comment?" He spoke at a whisper as Mr Collins made his farewells to Lady Catherine and her daughter, "given the nature of this morning's conversation, I feel sure in one expectation."

Darcy did not make a reply - he was still feeling sore over his cousin's insinuations the night before, when he had responded with as much levity as he could while indignation had fired within his breast. Those suggestions had been idly made by the Colonel, who could be rather impetuous in nature but the indication of some emotion in his cousin caught the Colonel's interest and now he had decided to stir for more information. This avoidance was not to be tolerated, Colonel Fitzwilliam continued his presumptions, as secretly as he could during the brisk walk down to the parsonage. Mr Collins had accompanied them and barely paused for breath as they went, but as the house had come into view, he became conscious of how little notice his wife would receive of the gentlemen's arrival, and moved to precede them, at least by a few moments, in some effort towards maintaining domestic felicity.

Pausing at the gate which lead into the garden, Fitzwilliam turned to his cousin cheerfully, " You have met the family - tell me, is it from the father's side, or the mother's, which Miss Bennet is likely to have acquired any absurdities? I know Mr Collins is a cousin of her father, so I cannot help but wonder if I may expect familial disposition from the lady. And if the mother has known follies..."

"Have you quite settled your suppositions that we might enter the house with civility?" Darcy scolded before his cousin could finish the sentence, knowing that his tone was far angrier than he would have liked.

Fitzwilliam had little awareness of the depth of his insult as he had no knowledge of the depth of Darcy's admiration; in shielding the nature and object of his regard Darcy had left himself exposed to such an attack, as unintended as it may be. And the attack had been on point, as it was the lack of propriety shown by Mrs Bennet, her younger daughters and, on occasion, her husband which had shamed Darcy of his feelings for Elizabeth.

He marched ahead of his cousin now and rapped on the door with much ferocity. There was a scowl secured upon his features that he was sure frightened the young maid who answered, which is perhaps why she swiftly and silently admitted them. They were shown into a sunny parlour where the household was waiting and after the usual greetings and introductions were made, Darcy was offered the best chair (and told a great deal about its origins from the owner) which he readily took. He had barely looked about the room as he did, intent on remaining in his silent displeasure for the time that they would call. His eyes were not obedient to this though, and after a moment - sought her position.

She sat at a small table across the room, already in conversation with Fitzwilliam, but upon his gaze turning towards her, she happened to meet it. His resolutions against her melted with that look, dampening his heated mood and washing away his conflict. Her eye had had no meaning behind it, merely an acknowledgement of his presence - it was the sight of her that was his undoing.

Darcy had at first scarcely allowed her to be pretty and, during their earliest encounters, had looked at her only to criticise. But no sooner had he made it clear to himself and his friends that she had hardly a good feature in her face, than he began to find it was rendered uncommonly intelligent by the beautiful expression of her dark eyes. And the discovery of one feature afforded the confounding consequence of noting that despite more than one failure of perfect symmetry in her form, he thought her to be attractive. It was as though the more he knew of her, the more her features suited her - her playfulness and lightness of spirit were reflected so well that she had become something wondrous to him. Indeed, now he considered her to be very beautiful.

During the moments between this meeting and their last, he had fooled himself into denial of it - thinking his memory might be more generous than it should be. But as she was now just within his view, and though he appeared to be attentive to nothing, not even the prattling preacher at his side, every fibre of his being was attuned to her. And he was agitated by her beauty - how could he survive a fortnight within reach of her and not be driven mad by the struggle of it?

Elizabeth was pleased to discover that, while Mr Darcy's nature had changed very little in the time of their separation, his cousin could be considered a contrast. Colonel Fitzwilliam was about thirty, not handsome, but in person and address most truly the gentleman as he entered into conversation directly with the readiness and ease of a well-bred man, and talked very pleasantly. He had come into the room with such a smile that she could not help answering it with a grin of her own, which he had taken as an invitation and moved directly to sit next to her.

"I'm delighted to make your acquaintance at last Miss Bennet." Every aspect of his person communicated this delight, for he had moved his chair so that it might be facing her own and, resting an arm on the table at their side, inclined towards her, still with that eager smile.

Fitzwilliam had been shocked by his cousin's reproach, and so had entered the house with all the civility he could gather. He had made a quick assessment on his introduction to the ladies - Mrs Collins, was proper, more sensible than her husband and of no real fascination for him, her sister was clearly quite young and shy, which to some gentlemen would make an easy and enticing target for their charms, but he had no real interest in those schemes. Miss Elizabeth Bennet, he decided, was very pretty, though she could not be described as a fashionable beauty, he was sure now his aunt's earlier comment was somewhat uncharitable. As he had discovered one aspect of his earlier theories - he was determined to learn of the other, and would not be satisfied by speaking to any other but her.

"At last sir?" Elizabeth could not contain her surprise - his words implied some discussion of her had been had. Her cheeks coloured slightly at the implication, to imagine how Mr Darcy had condemned her character to his cousin before they had been introduced. The meanness of it was easily felt but easily expected from that taciturn and disapproving gentleman.

"Well, I've heard much of you, and none of the praise has been exaggerated, I assure you" Fitzwilliam had spoken with haste, but did not regret it. Her reception of flattery would no doubt reveal the pliability of her character, as how could a lady of intelligence or sense trust such compliments from an acquaintance of two sentences.

"I can well believe that, Mr Darcy is my severest critic." Her response gave him much satisfaction that there was no familiarity between her nature and her cousin's. That she accused his cousin of such a role surprised him though.

"Has my friend given you any cause to believe him so? I know that he may not be very permissive of new company - but I promise, he has not spoken a word against you in my presence."

It was Elizabeth's turn to be surprised - the Colonel spoke with such earnest reasoning, that she could not help but laugh - a moment before, she had thought he was only speaking courteously, but it was clearly not the case. Perhaps Mr Darcy had not spoken a word against her, but she still had some doubt he had spoken praise of her either. Colonel Fitzwilliam's articulation had given her some indication though that he had heard criticism of her, and she wondered for a moment the source. Lady Catherine would be likely, though she did not know if he was acquainted with the Bingleys.

"Mr Darcy and I are not the best of friends. Why should we be? I always believe in first impressions and his good opinion once lost, is lost forever. Besides I have not sought his good opinion - should I care if he bestows it?"

The conversation had shifted Fitzwilliam's understanding of their acquaintance, and he began to suspect his cousin had not revealed the extent of his history with Miss Bennet. Darcy himself had remained separated from this conversation, and for that Fitzwilliam was glad. He was sorry for the sake of his cousin that the amiable young lady had such a poor opinion of Darcy, but for his own sake, he was pleased. To have a chance of becoming the favourite in this comparison, where so frequently Darcy was the preference, encouraged his vanity and he savoured the possibility, wishing for more of Miss Bennet's company.

"Hmm. I suppose not. Though I hope we shall see you frequently at Rosings, while we are there, regardless. I'm fond of lively conversation."

"This you do not find at Rosings Park?"

Her prompt and playful response made him laugh so loud that for a moment they drew the attention of the others in the room. "Well, my aunt does talk a great deal," he conceded quietly when Mr Collins had returned to his homily at Darcy's knee. "But seldom requires a response. Nobody plays, nobody sings. I believe you play and sing, Miss Bennet?"

"A little, and very ill. I wouldn't wish to excite your anticipation"

"I'm sure you're too modest. But any relief would be profoundly welcome, I assure you."

The more she spoke, the more the Colonel liked her and was happy to concede to himself that in one speculation he had been incorrect. Miss Bennet was clearly an intelligent and witty creature - and as he reflected on his aunt's report - not at all shy in the presence of Lady Catherine, which might make evenings at Rosings very diverting. They continued much in this manner for the rest of the gentlemen's visit at the parsonage - Elizabeth hoped that the Colonel would stay longer than polite, but it seemed they had some business to see to that day, and could not be kept later. Darcy had remained mute throughout the hour, except when Colonel Fitzwilliam drew him into their discussion, with the need for the name of some acquaintance from their youth. This was taken as an invitation for him to stand near them, though he did not contribute much to their dialogue. It was only when there was a pause between Elizabeth and Colonel Fitzwilliam that he was so far awakened as to enquire of Elizabeth after the health of her family. She answered him in the usual way, and after a moment's pause, added, "My eldest sister has been in town these three months. Have you never happened to see her there?"

She thought herself to be perfectly sensible that he never had; and so was surprised and thought he looked a little confused as he answered, " I have had the pleasure of seeing Miss Bennet Thursday last - we danced and spoke for a time."

"Oh" came the only reply from the lady and in her silence he added,

"We came upon each other at a private ball of friends, I had not known were a shared acquaintance with your uncle. I had the opportunity to meet Mr and Mrs Gardiner that evening as well."

Elizabeth's mind was the site of much activity by his admission - she thought back to the last letter which she had received from her sister, almost a week earlier. Such a circumstance to occur in between it's being written and sent, to her reception and reply was entirely unexpected. As she was so occupied with many unspoken questions and thoughts on this matter, she could only respond with a brief nod - to which the gentleman bowed and moved away.

Colonel Fitzwilliam had attempted to re-divert her attention to other discussions, but it was not to be - Elizabeth was too far absorbed by Darcy's disclosure. It was shortly after this that both gentlemen made their farewells and returned to Rosings.

So confounded was Elizabeth that she immediately took to her bedchamber after their leaving, to experience her disbelief in privacy. That Mr Darcy might own to meeting her aunt and uncle - but not express it as a pleasure, of course - was just one condition which consumed her thoughts; another that he had danced with Jane. They had not just briefly passed each other at some event, or made polite but succinct greetings - they had danced. And knowing Mr Darcy's manners as she did, Elizabeth suspected that he did not frequently dance with young ladies of no consequence at private balls - which meant it would have drawn some notice, and had some detail he had not shared. She wondered if his friend had been present as well - had he also danced with Jane? Hope blossomed in her mind as Elizabeth considered the chance, very likely given their close friendship, that Mr Bingley had also been in attendance at this ball, had also had the pleasure of seeing Jane. That their acquaintance had some possibility of renewal and how happy that would make her dear sister. This last condition, the most uncertain of all, was one which she doubted to receive an answer, even if she had asked Mr Darcy as he stood before her; what could be the outcome of this meeting for Jane and for Mr Bingley? With all of the optimism she dared allow herself, Elizabeth hoped for a letter from Jane with good news very soon.

Darcy was also consumed with thoughts of their meeting as he and Colonel Fitzwilliam returned to Rosings. That Miss Bennet had not yet written to her sister of their meeting should not have surprised him - barely enough time had past for the postage of such a letter. Still, he could not help his confusion at Miss Elizabeth's question - it was as though his heart had expected her to know of all the minutes he had spent thinking of her since that event. How could she not?

Of course, she could not, he had admonished himself. As much as he might desire it, they were not of one mind and heart - and should never be, his rational mind advised. No longer in her presence, Darcy was able to recall all of the reasons to conceal his pleasure in her existence - of the inferiority of her situation, of his family's expectations, of her family's unmannerly behaviour. And with this, he could think clearly of how he might continue in her company without losing himself.  
He was aware that while he had informed her of the Mortimer's ball; he had not fulfilled that request of her sister, and how difficult that act may be whilst they were in company of others - he would need to design an appropriate but private means of discussing that subject with her.

Before they had reached the house, the silence that was caused by each gentleman having his own thoughts to occupy him was broken by Colonel Fitzwilliam. He had been contemplating the pleasure of lively conversation from a pretty partner and wished to see if his cousin had equal satisfaction from their call.

"I will readily admit," he began, "that my assumptions about Miss Bennet were flawed; she is evidently intelligent and educated, but also has a wit which so rarely can be found. I think her manners are charming - exactly what a genteel lady ought to be, though I would not admit it to my aunt!"

His good humour was only met with a polite nod from Darcy, and as they were now nearer the house, Fitzwilliam thought to speak on this matter quickly, to avoid having Lady Catherine become too informed of it.

"I believe you were in error as well Darce." He teased, making his cousin stop and look to him, indignation knotting his eyebrows together though he remained silent as a prompt for Fitzwilliam to continue. "She has more than some pleasing features about her countenance, and is a great deal more than pretty. I know that she has not the conventional aesthetics that most women aspire to, but I think she is remarkably handsome - even beautiful if compared to other ladies of my acquaintance."

Darcy could only murmur some impartial reply to this and resumed walking, though he was not fast enough to evade Colonel Fitzwilliam's continued praise of Miss Bennet and his eagerness to claim her company more often during their stay.

* * *

It had been the general expectation by the ladies that they were unlikely to receive a summons to Rosings for dinner or evening company for some time, for while there were visitors in the house, they could not be necessary; but when an invitation was issued the following day, they were all in agreement that it must have been the influence of the affable colonel to bring it about - as he was the one to deliver it.

As they appeared in her ladyship's favourite drawing room, they were received civilly by all except the colonel, who was entirely without reserve in his greetings and smiles. Lady Catherine was more occupied in speaking with her nephews, especially to Darcy, then entertaining her guests; but this suited Elizabeth, as it allowed her greater opportunity to know Colonel Fitzwilliam better.

He seated himself by her, and talked so agreeably of Kent and Hertfordshire, of travelling and staying at home, of new books and music, that Elizabeth had never been half so well entertained in that room before; and they conversed with so much spirit and flow, as to draw the attention of Lady Catherine herself as well as of Mr Darcy. His eyes had been soon and repeatedly turned towards them with a look of curiosity and envy that his cousin should be the recipient of such smiles from Elizabeth. After some time, Colonel Fitzwilliam requested that she might now play the piano forte, and she was happy to oblige that gentleman's request. They both sat down at the instrument, which was situated in the room connected to the drawing room and Elizabeth allowed the gentleman to choose a piece for her.

The rest of the company halted their conversations to listen, but Lady Catherine could only hear half the song before turning to speak to her other nephew.

"I have told Miss Bennet several times, that she will never play really well, unless she practises more and have the advantage of a London master. Mrs Collins has no instrument, so I have often told her that she is very welcome to come to Rosings every day, and play on the piano forte in Mrs Jenkinson's room. She would be in nobody's way, you know, in that part of the house."

Darcy could not hide the agitation he felt from his aunt's bluntness, and making no answer - he left his seat with the rest and moved closer to the piano forte. His movement caught Elizabeth's eye, and at the first convenient pause, she turned to him with an arch smile, and said,

"You mean to frighten me, Mr Darcy, by coming in all this state to hear me? But I will not be alarmed. There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises with every attempt to intimidate me."

His heart leapt with that smile - it's playful coquetry drew him in. After she had attended so enthusiastically to his cousin throughout most of the evening, to be the beneficiary of her banter charmed him completely. He knew better than to respond with anything but reserve, but he could not control the impulse.

"I shall not say that you are mistaken because you could not really believe me to entertain any design of alarming you; and I have had the pleasure of your acquaintance long enough to know, that you find great enjoyment in occasionally professing opinions which in fact are not your own."

Elizabeth's smile broadened as she turned to the colonel, "Your cousin will give you a very pretty notion of me, and teach you not to believe a word I say. " With a laugh in her voice, she continued, "I am particularly unlucky in meeting with a person so well able to expose my real character, in a part of the world where I had hoped to pass myself off with some degree of credit. Indeed, it is very ungenerous of him to mention all that he knows to my disadvantage in Hertfordshire."

With this she turned back to Darcy, and he observed a faint blush on her cheeks as she teased, "It gives me leave to say, very impolitic of you and provokes me to retaliate and shock your relations with what I know."

"I am not afraid of you," said he, smilingly. Could she sense how she had disarmed him? And yet, now he feared nothing from her, he was entirely at her mercy and happy for it. Despite his pledge to not excite any attention from her or expectation in either of them, the deliciousness of their back and forth gratified him in a way he had never known before.

"Pray let me hear what you have to accuse him of," cried Colonel Fitzwilliam. That gentleman had felt abandoned by the lady as she had engaged in a match with his cousin. "I should like to know how he behaves among strangers."

"You shall hear then - but prepare yourself for something very dreadful. The first time of my ever seeing him in Hertfordshire, you must know, was at a ball - and at this ball, what do you think he did? He danced only four dances! I am sorry to pain you - but so it was. He danced only four dances, though gentlemen were scarce; and, to my certain knowledge, more than one young lady was sitting down in want of a partner. Mr Darcy, you cannot deny the fact."

The recollection of the evening was accurate, and yet lacked his perspective. His discomfort at being on display, like some exotic creature, which originated primarily from his reserved nature, was not easily overcome that evening, nor explained either to the guests at the Meryton assembly or to his audience now. He might have also thought the company at the assembly below his notice, but this was also not a notion he would own now.

"I had not at that time the honour of knowing any lady in the assembly beyond my own party."

"True; and nobody can ever be introduced in a ball room." With this shot, Elizabeth turned her smile back to his cousin. "Well, Colonel Fitzwilliam, what do I play next? My fingers wait your orders."

As Fitzwilliam stood to sift through the sheet music atop the instrument, Darcy could not help offering his concession quietly, hopeful his reasoning would be accepted by the lady. "Perhaps I should have judged better, had I sought an introduction, but I am ill qualified to recommend myself to strangers."

Colonel Fitzwilliam had likely not heard his words, but Elizabeth addressed him with a teasing note - "Shall we ask your cousin the reason of this? Shall we ask him why a man of sense and education, and who has lived in the world, is ill qualified to recommend himself to strangers?"

"I can answer your question," said Fitzwilliam, "without applying to him. It is because he will not give himself the trouble."

They chuckled together at this and Darcy was reminded of a conversation from months ago, between them two and a different third, Miss Bingley. He was sure that she also thought of that evening - had she not quoted him from that time only the day before. Then Elizabeth had sentenced him to the punishment of her laughter but determined his chosen fault was not one to be laughed at. Her mirth at his expense now was clearly from her awareness of his nature, and how he endeavoured to avoid the follies which others might ridicule; she had so easily pronounced one of his weaknesses to his relation. He was moved by her perceptiveness and intelligence, having once accused her of willfully misunderstanding others, as well as her playfulness in respect to his flaw. Still he wanted to offer some reasoning, to explain how his unsociable behaviour stemmed from an introverted character, despite his efforts to improve.

"I certainly have not the talent which some people possess," said Darcy, "of conversing easily with those I have never seen before. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, or appear interested in their concerns, as I often see done."

"My fingers, do not move over this instrument in the masterly manner which I see so many women's do. They have not the same force or rapidity, and do not produce the same expression." The laughter had shifted from her eyes, still she looked up at him with a liveliness that pleased him even more. "It is not that I do not believe my fingers as capable as any other woman's of superior execution. I have always supposed it to be my own fault - because I would not take the trouble of practising."

Darcy could not deny to himself that the affinity in their dispositions, as well as the better understanding, strengthened his regard, so he granted her success in her advice. "You are perfectly right. You have employed your time much better. No one admitted to the privilege of hearing you, can think any thing wanting. We neither of us perform to strangers."

He knew he had spoken with her too long, had shown too much interest, but he could not draw himself away from her side even after this. He was released from what hold she had on him by the intrusion of Lady Catherine - as her curiosity had been heightened by their hushed conversation as well as the silence from the instrument. She called out to know what they were talking of and Elizabeth immediately began playing again. Their discussion was filled with lighter subjects then, though at times suspended as Lady Catherine proclaimed her remarks on Elizabeth's performance, mixing with them many instructions on execution and taste. Elizabeth received them with all the forbearance of civility; and Darcy attempted not to show his mortification at his aunt's imperiousness. At the request of the gentlemen, Elizabeth remained at the instrument and in pleasant conversation with both til her ladyship's carriage was ready to take them all home.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:** Huge thanks to everyone who reviewed, as well as any new followers - I've been working slowly on this chapter as my other JAFF (In the Middle before Beginning) and work has been distracting.

Let me know what you think :)

* * *

 **Chapter 5**

The letter from Jane arrived only days after it was first anticipated, and as Elizabeth had hoped – the spirit of it was merry enough to please both the writer and the reader. Jane wrote of three topics, each more surprising than the last, and while the first two satisfied Elizabeth's curiosity, the third made her feel very puzzled with it's conclusion. After the usual opening, Jane recounted the event which Mr Darcy had hinted to with additional detail, written as:

'On the Thursday, my uncle had received an invite from his friend, Mr Shaw, to a private affair on H— street. They generously brought both my aunt and I, along with Mrs Shaw, though we were hesitant of our part in the entertainment, as we had little acquaintance there. The hosts and many of their guests were evidently nobility or elevated parties beyond our approach. We are pleasantly diverted then when my uncle should appear from the card room with Mr Bingley and Mr Darcy. The surprise was not from their appearance, but that they should wish to see me– for as you might remember I had all but given up the acquaintance with Miss Bingley (who was also in attendance but I did not happen to meet).  
The gentlemen remained in our company until we departed that evening, and I had the privilege of standing up with both – they were as much the same as we knew them in Hertfordshire, though perhaps Mr Darcy became more sincere when we spoke of certain matters.  
I will tell you that at first I was flushed with distraction at the sight of Mr Bingley, so much had been thought and suggested after his leaving Netherfield, and I had, for some time, longed to see him, I could barely summon any speech. I was fortunate then that Mr Darcy asked me to dance first - it gave me the minutes needed to compose myself enough, and I feel I know _that_ gentleman better from it. Mr Bingley and I danced next, and he was, as I had always thought him to be, a charming and eager partner. My aunt thought that both of their natures were exactly as we have described - she was anxious to compliment Mr Bingley on his liveliness character, once we had parted ways, though my uncle claimed Mr Darcy was superior for his earnest and principled contributions to our discourse.'

Elizabeth was excessively pleased that the events had occurred such, but she was startled upon the last line - that her uncle would prefer Mr Darcy, that they had met at all and then remained together for such a time for Mr Gardiner to form such an impression, that Mr Darcy had not excused himself from the disgrace of their company. Such thoughts were diverting to her, especially after she had mocked him only recently for his aloof manners.

The letter then continued on, as such:

'We, at Grace-church street, thought the meeting to be pleasant but unlikely to be repeated- so we were greatly astonished when Mr Bingley called the very next afternoon. He stayed briefly, as it was not the usual hour, but my aunt invited him to dine with us on some other night and he readily accepted. As my aunt and I were at the park with the children on Saturday morning, we missed his visit then - he did speak with my uncle and left his card. He joined us for a trip to the park after the service on Sunday, and returned again to dine on Sunday night. His attentiveness has warmed my heart in ways that I cannot tell you, dearest Lizzy, it has been as though those three months apart did not occur. I feel myself in danger of a deep fondness for him that leaves such an ache when he goes away - I have some fear, and I know you would wish to warn me on this, that if he became indifferent, I may suffer from it in the most unrecoverable way.  
His coming has brought me nothing but joy though dearest, it is only in his departures that I feel uncertain. It has given me great pleasure in particular, to see him with my cousins yesterday and today, doting on them, as though they are as dear to him as they are to me. The girls were at first quite shy with him, but the boys have treated him as a jolly play-mate from their introduction, and I think it has been very good for them to have a younger gentleman for company now and then.  
As I write this, on Monday evening, we have parted this morning with plans for him to dine again with us tomorrow. Mr Bingley hopes, that my aunt and uncle and I will be honoured with an invitation to dine at the Hursts home before the end of the week. Regardless, he has spoken in defined expectations of meeting regularly whilst I remain in town, and has desire to return to Netherfield Park at the same time that we will return to Longbourne, even insisting that he might accompany our carriage on his horse.'

If Elizabeth could feel happier than before, she did - though her sister was correct, she would warn Jane about guarding her heart from suffering, she was thrilled that such attention could come from Mr Bingley now. All such concerns were set aside though, once she reached the third part of Jane's letter, for it read:

'The matter of which I especially wished to write to you at this time Lizzy, has not to do with Mr Bingley, but with his friend. As I have detailed above - after our unexpected meeting I feel that I better know him, especially for his candor on specific subjects. I will not write expressly on this though. From Mr Bingley I had discovered that his friend would be in Kent, and possibly in your company for a time, and I knew it was very untoward of me but I enlisted Mr Darcy's service; I suggested that he might speak to you on these ideas. I hope you will not chide me for this, I know it would not be for my audacity, but for encouraging that gentleman to speak to you at all, when you do not care for his attention. Please believe me dearest, when I write that I have only honest intentions in my actions. And I will write no more of it, though I believe you may be thrown by it all, and will likely send me a reply requesting more explanation or a line of 'how should I know if Mr Darcy _does_ speak of this matter'. I will make a promise to you now, that when you join us at Grace-church street in three weeks time, we shall compare knowledge and if you are no wiser on this, all will be discussed plainly.'

From her sister's letter, Elizabeth gathered much happiness that Jane's situation had improved, though it also gave her a great deal to wonder about. She had tried to sensibly suspend any curiousity she felt from Mr Darcy's admission until the news had arrived from her sister, but now found that her curiousity was only heightened and switched to different puzzle. On what possible subject could her aunt and uncle, her dear sister and Mr Darcy have a discussion where the latter gentleman might offer such trustworthy opinions to prompt Jane to request this action or develop in her uncle a favourable opinion. If she were bold enough, she might have resolved to question Mr Darcy directly on their next meeting.

There was little chance that week though, for whilst Colonel Fitzwilliam had frequently called at the parsonage, and readily sat beside Elizabeth during the Friday and Sunday services for Easter - the rest of the Rosings party were not seen, except at a distance when they arrived and departed from the church. Elizabeth did entertain herself at the notion of Mr Darcy actively avoiding her company, but she knew it was more likely that she was below his notice, as was the favour he had promised her sister, and so considered it readily forgotten by the gentleman. As such, she thought that while she might get some information from him, she would not depend upon it - and instead resolved to discover the full truth from her sister when they were reunited.

In meeting frequently with Colonel Fitzwilliam, Elizabeth found happy distraction from her wonderings about his cousin, and she was pleased when he clearly showed a preference for her company. He was pleasant in his conversation and while there was not many shared interests between them, he spoke with such enthusiasm about his own, and listened politely on Elizabeth's enjoyments, that this was not a determent of their friendship. So keen was he to be in her company that after the Easter liturgy had concluded, he chosen to walk with her back to the parsonage instead of accompany Lady Catherine in her carriage.

Maria also had company on their walk home, as the eldest Miss Metcalfe and her friend Miss Stewart were invited to tea at the parsonage and the invitation was readily accepted. Elizabeth suspected that it was the Colonel's society that the girls actually sought, for when he bid them all farewell at the gate, they shared a look. Still, the girls joined them for tea in Charlotte's parlour and made cheerful conversation for a time.

Miss Metcalfe was a pretty girl of about seventeen, who had just attended her second season in London and was content to speak of nothing else. She was not, in Elizabeth's opinion, as silly as her own younger sisters, but did not yet have the habit of being completely sensible all the time either. Miss Stewart was a few years older by Elizabeth's estimate, though she was rather more artless and giddy than her friend - she was being courted by a cousin of Miss Metcalfe, and had been invited to stay with the family for time.

"Have you ever been to court Miss Lucas?" Miss Metcalfe asked with a playful smile, after she had already learnt that neither Elizabeth nor Charlotte had not. "It is so very grand, you know and I believe there is nothing more exciting than the moment in your carriage as you arrive at St James's Palace!"

"Oh yes!" Miss Stewart agreed, nodding enthusiastically, "though there is a great deal more fun to be had during the rest of the season you know - with all the balls, and parties, and dinners."

"But you only say _that_ because you have not been presented, how could you know?" Her friend teased in return, making Miss Stewart blush.

"I have not spent much time in London," Maria commented, before turning to smile at Elizabeth, "though Lizzy has been there several times - we shall go there before returning home and stay with her family, perhaps we might even attend a party or the opera?"

Miss Metcalfe pouted at this, "well, Mamma would not let us stay in town for the whole season, which was rather unfair as I had met many handsome fellows and was looking forward to at least another month of their calls and attention."

"Still, if you had - you would of missed meeting the gentlemen visiting Rosings, and you would have been sorry for that!" Miss Stewart giggled into her teacup.

The gentlemen visiting Rosings was an easy subject for the room to discuss - though the ladies in the parsonage had already aired their impressions of the Colonel, and had long known each other's thoughts on Darcy, these new acquaintances brought perspectives un-shared. Colonel Fitzwilliam's friendly nature and charming manners was much admired, though it was the mutual belief that his cousin was the superior in appearance.

"Oh that Mr Darcy," Miss Metcalfe gushed, "I do believe he is one of the most handsome, if not the handsomest man, I have ever met! I only wish you had been to dinner with us, Meg - he is so very dignified, and you saw him today, did you not? Imagine if that noble countenance was intensely and silently observing you - it is enough to make your knees weak!"

The two girls giggled more and Maria smiled at them eagerly. Elizabeth, though she could not deny that Mr Darcy was attractive, had spent so much effort on disapproving of his character that she had not given much thought to his appearance. It was evident though that these girls were too affected by the attraction of a handsome face and a wealthy position to notice the deficiencies in Mr Darcy's nature.

They continued on, in this manner, for some time and as their conversation was a little too simple for Elizabeth's tastes - as she was audience to similar conduct far too often at home - she and Charlotte kept each other company while the three younger ladies giggled and whispered in the corner.

* * *

After almost a week of only Lady Catherine and Anne for company in the evenings, both Darcy and Fitzwilliam were eager for an increase the size of their party, and so they were pleased when the Hunsford residents were sent an invite to dine on the Sunday. As her nephews were present, Mr Collins had lost his seat at the bottom of the table but he was allowed to sit by Lady Catherine and afforded the opportunity to be constantly at her service. Darcy had been given the honour of sitting opposite his aunt, but his closest company of Miss De Bourgh and Mrs Collins did not supply much conversation, when he was not busy carving and eating, his attention was drawn to the section of the table where Colonel Fitzwilliam had seated next to Miss Bennet. It was clear that in the week's acquaintance - which was only one evening together and half a dozen calls at the parsonage by the gentleman - a pleasant friendship had formed between the two.

When the ladies returned to the drawing room, Darcy was curious to learn what his cousin and the lady had bonded over so swiftly, but Mr Collins would dominate the conversation with all of his praise of their aunt until they were to join the ladies. Upon entering that room Darcy moved to join the company of his cousin as he found him to be already entertaining Miss Bennet.

"Ah, Darce, now I understand what kept you in Hertfordshire," Colonel Fitzwilliam teased, smiling at Elizabeth.

"And also what drove him away!" She smiled back, "he liked the scenery well enough, but couldn't stomach the society."

They both laughed at this together but Darcy only frowned in response. He had approached with the intention of joining their merriness, not to become the subject of their humour. He stood by them until the tea was over and the card tables were placed. Lady Catherine then insisted that they should join her table, and all entertainment was dropped as she controlled the talk there, and chose mainly to speak of her personal anecdotes and in compliments to her favourite nephew.

Once Lady Catherine had her fill of cards she indicated that the evening should come to an end; her carriage was called around to take the Hunsford guests back to the parsonage. On their departure Darcy was about to retire for the night when Fitzwilliam suggested a game of billiards, with a tone that suggested he sought time alone with his cousin. While taking up his cue, Fitzwilliam appeared pensive for the first time that evening, which made his cousin smile - it was not often that their countenances should be so reversed, and this made Darcy smile more.

They played for some time in silence, before the Colonel voiced his contemplation.

"I have received that letter," he said, drawing the paper from his jacket pocket and holding out to his cousin, who impatiently took it and scanned the contents. "It has confirmed what you were told. Wickham has found himself a willing bride."

"Mary King" Darcy replied, refolding the letter and handing it back. The grip around his stomach that had plagued him in the days since first hearing of the news now slackened slightly - Elizabeth Bennet was safe from the miscreant. "An heiress, how predictable."

Fitzwilliam hit at his ball, sinking the red ball into a pocket. "I wonder if she knows what kind of man she plans to marry."

"That is doubtful," Darcy replied, retrieving the ball, "the real question is - how do we to inform her? Or her family?"

"Is that the question?" Fitzwilliam paused, studying the other man, "I find it curious you are eager to involve yourself in his life. I know you mean to protect the lady, but at what cost? Truly, I cannot understand you of late - what has you acting so peculiar?"

"I do not know what you mean," Darcy replied slowly, pausing for the game as well.

"Darcy - I have a concern about you, and I would not express it if the worry had not grown in the last week." Fitzwilliam shifted on his spot, but held his position and continued examining his cousin earnestly. "Indeed, at first I only thought dismissively of the idea..."

"Stop speaking in riddles Richard," Darcy complained impatiently.

"Tell me, cousin - _were_ you genuinely displeased with Hertfordshire?" Fitzwilliam paused, but did not allow time for an answer. "You have barely spoken of it the whole time we have been together, but you had suggested there was some story to share when you first returned to London. You've offered no particular details or preferences about that place - and now I have met one whose society you've kept there and I have to wonder at her impression - just tonight she accused you of dissatisfaction there. I did not allow much weight in her representation at first - but now I find it troubles me, and I cannot help but wonder how this news of George Wickham might be related."

"Related to Wickham? I hardly know what you mean," came the stubborn reply. It was true - Darcy had not shared with Fitzwilliam any detail of his current concerns, or the manner in which he learned of Wickham's engagement - he had hardly offered a reason when he had asked Fitzwilliam to use his connections and discover the truth. Darcy no longer feared that Fitzwilliam would oppose his regard for Elizabeth Bennet - rather he did not want to raise the expectations within himself by acknowledging his interest. He began playing the game again but his cousin did not join him. "It is Miss Bennet I must suppose you have gained this impression from?"

"You have noticed then that she has expressed _only_ an unfavourable opinion of you?" Fitzwilliam moved forward, eager to explain his thoughts. "It has made me wonder what you were like in Hertfordshire - I know that you are not always comfortable in new company; you can be distant at times amongst your nearest friends but when I think of the story she related last week, I knew that was not only your usual reserve. And I had thought, at the time, she meant to jest in the usual way one might with a friend and their mutual acquaintance, but a good-natured tease like that would be followed by some other tale of redemption, you know - 'he was very cross when we first met, but was always pleasant after'.

He paused for a moment, and smiled regrettably, "Miss Bennet has offered no other atonement for your first impression."

Darcy glared at him, responding defensively, "I did not know I need to make friends in Hertfordshire."

"It is not that - you know it is not." Fitzwilliam countered carefully, "but you know also that Miss Bennet would be kind enough to forgive you, if you had made some effort to be amiable - and this makes me think that the whole time you were in Hertfordshire, you were as fastidious and reserved as you appeared on the first meeting."

"Oh how I enjoy such compliments," Darcy murmured sarcastically, before prompting in a restrained tone, "and what, pray tell, has this to do with the subject of George Wickham's impending nuptials?"

"You cannot deny to me that certain _events_ last year had no affect on you, have not preoccupied your mind since, especially while you were in Hertfordshire - why else would you act so unlike yourself for so long? And you continue to - to suggest that we should..." With this the Colonel unhappily shook his head. He then began to speak quickly as Darcy made noises of disbelief, "admit it, as I will allow to you how such matters have busied my thoughts, though I have been too careful to let it show. Nothing that you do now can relieve that culpability we both feel. And you must know also that the risk of any action on our part is too great to Georgiana..."

"Do not speak of such," Darcy scolded harshly.

"Do not be so naive! He can and will with enough incentive. Would you risk our dear girl for the sake of one unknown to you, one who is not your charge?"

It was Darcy's turn to study his cousin - disbelieving. How the man had drawn the conclusion of an obsession about Wickham from Miss Bennet's reports of his behaviour was incomprehensible - yet he felt some solace that Fitzwilliam had not been able to guess the truth. That the time spent in Hertfordshire, and now in Kent was occupied more with thoughts of the lady.

"But would you not agree," he began slowly, placing his cue in the holder as the game had long been abandoned, "that as we have some knowledge of his true character, we have some social responsibility."

"Not at all," Fitzwilliam replied angrily, "and how do we not know that he remains as we knew him, how do we not know that..."

"We have the evidence of it in your letter, the third line - 'he must be eager to leave his regiment, as his friends are beginning to call in his many debts to them' - he is as he ever was." Darcy was torn - if it had been Miss Bennet who was revealed as the bride-to-be, he would not have hesitated to expose Wickham. Fitzwilliam's assertions, though dramatic, had some truth to them. "But if it is as you say, that it is not our duty, then we might at least hope that the girl has some sensible family surrounding her, to protect her from him"

"Were there some manner of it without the risk - you know that I would not hesitate."

"Then there is nothing to be done. And our consciences should not suffer from it."


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:** A brief note of thanks to the reviewers since I last posted. I've taken note of the points made about putting text in italics, so I won't be doing that any more and have corrected past chapters. Thanks for reading!

 **Disclaimer-** Pride and Prejudice, it's characters and settings are the work of Jane Austen.

* * *

 **Chapter 6  
March - April 1812**

The grounds of Rosings blossomed with the Easter weekend and though the daylight hours appeared pleasant there was still a wintry touch to the air, so even the slightest breeze kept persons indoors. Darcy found the cooler weather enjoyable for riding and wandered with his horse while his aunt and cousins remained in the parlor or library.

As he rode, he thought over the Colonel's words from the night before. In the moment, he had been too tired and annoyed to fully consider his cousin's insinuations, so he had avoided the point. Now though, it battered at his face like a frosty gale. If Fitzwilliam was correct, then Elizabeth Bennet did not favour him. This possibility had been unexpected. Being so occupied as he had by his own feelings, as well as his determination not to excite any expectation between them, Darcy had not considered that the lady would not, if given the chance, reciprocate. He was confronted, mortified - and grateful that he could at least digest this circumstance alone.

He rode to calm his wounded pride and to ease the feelings of discord within him. He should feel relief at the idea, but bitterly knew he did not. He still would not pursue the lady, but could not help caring that she did not like him. And even still, some small part of him steadfastly (or perhaps conceitedly) believed that his friend's assumptions could not be entirely trusted - that if he ever found a change in his intentions, then an offer from him might be welcomed by her. It was an unsafe hope.

Darcy knew he would be best served to set aside all thought of Elizabeth Bennet, and that she would likely find not offense at his withdrawal- whether from his own determination not to encourage any connection between them or her suggested dislike of him. He and Fitzwilliam were due to depart from Rosings soon, after which time he would have no cause to see her again. He would then, luckily, also be absolved of his promise to Jane Bennet.

At a thought of that Bennet sister, Darcy stopped short, realising his own assumption would likely prove false - the reconnection between Miss Bennet and Charles could not be prevented now, it was very likely that his friend would pursue the lady he had so irrationally adored. No doubt - he had been actively courting her in Darcy's absence.

He would not be pardoned then - he had to find a way to speak to Elizabeth Bennet about Wickham, as much as he abhorred the idea. And given Fitzwilliam's beliefs, Darcy would also have to find a manner in which she would actually listen to what he had to say. He would need more time with the lady then, if only to establish a more amicable position in her opinion. But he would not concede to his feelings for her - he was now more sure then he had ever been, he would conceal any struggle, perform the duty and continue with his life as before.

* * *

The Tuesday following Easter was the first occurrence of true Spring weather, and brought with it a visitor to the Hunsford parsonage. Colonel Fitzwilliam came alone and was eagerly greeted by the ladies. The gentleman explained that he had intended to tour the park, as was his custom, but had grown fatigued in sight of their door.

"Let us revive you then," Elizabeth jested with a smile, in response to his feigned weariness, "we have tea and conversation that will have you feeling like new."

Fitzwilliam willingly took a seat beside her and begun a pleasant discussion of nothing in particular. Before the hour was almost up, Charlotte did turn questioningly to him, "are you to leave Kent on Friday?"

"No -" he replied with a suggestive smile, "Darcy has put it off again, though I must say I cannot complain. I am at his disposal - he arranges his business just as he pleases, and I am only happy to oblige."

Elizabeth shared a look with her friend as she added, "And if he is not pleased by the new arrangement, he has at least great pleasure in the power of choice."

Fitzwilliam looked shrewdly at her, "I think you allow him more power than what he has, or indeed more pleasure in carrying such weight upon his shoulders."

"No, I am sure of it. I do not know of anybody who enjoys doing what they like more than Mr Darcy, or who has more control to make such as choice."

"Lizzy is very critical of such freedoms." Charlotte observed with a smile, and cleared away the tea things.

"Of course he likes to have things his own way," Fitzwilliam added just to Elizabeth, "But so do we all. He is fortunate enough to have the means that give him his way, compared to others. Even I envy him of this - even when I know what obligations it comes with."

"You envy him?"

"Oh yes, he has had all the independence and choice, while as a younger son I must be pleased by self-denial and dependence."

"In my opinion, the younger son of an Earl can know very little of either." When the Colonel just laughed in response, Elizabeth persisted. "Now, seriously, what have you ever known of self-denial and dependence? When have you been prevented by want of money from going wherever you chose, or procuring any thing you had a fancy for?"

"Well - perhaps I exaggerate - but in some matters, I have experienced hardship from the want of money. Younger sons, even of an Earl, cannot marry where they like."

Despite the amiable nature of their exchange, Elizabeth had to wonder if the Colonel meant to communicate something more direct by this. She blushed but did not take it too much to heart, choosing to tease, "where you like then, must be with a woman of fortune."

Fitzwilliam laughed again but did not reply. A pleasant silence fell over the room as neither continued the point. They were mostly alone as Charlotte had slipped away to speak with her housekeeper, and Maria was busy with her needlepoint over the other side of the room. She feared the Colonel would consider her affected by his admission, and so to fill the void, Elizabeth brought up their earlier point, "I suppose then that your cousin brought you with him on this trip so that he had someone at his disposal? It must be gratifying to have friends who are _happy to oblige_ him so readily _."_

The Colonel appeared unsure whether to laugh or frown. " Not at all, I assure you. I think that you are being too hard on my friend."

"Truly?" Elizabeth appeared thoughtful for a moment, but her amusement could not be concealed for long. "I suppose you could better discern Mr Darcy's nature - but from what I have seen of him, I would think that any company he enjoys is at his disposal, in Hertfordshire he had his friend- Mr Bingley. Here, he has you. Perhaps he should marry so that he might secure the lasting convenience of a wife."

"You speak as if he treats both friends and family as property - managed and discarded when no longer of use or if they displease him."

"Mr Darcy himself told me of his unforgiving temper."

"That is not him at all - except perhaps to the most deserving." At Elizabeth's disbelieving smile, Fitzwilliam persisted, "in all honesty Miss Bennet, Darcy is the most loyal of friends, and the best brother for his sister - I am meant to share in the guardianship of Miss Darcy, but he has rarely required my undertaking any of that responsibility. I am thoroughly ashamed of how often I have neglected my duty in such matters."

Fitzwilliam paused for a moment, an unhappy look crossed over him that was unusual for his nature. Elizabeth wondered whether she might hear more on the subject of Miss Darcy, but then he concluded, "I cannot think why Darcy might own to be so unyielding, except for the likeliness that we all can be more critical of our faults that others would be."

Though she was unconvinced, Elizabeth conceded, "you must be right Colonel, I am sure you must be- having known Mr Darcy far longer than I."

She thought that the gentleman might have continued in his defense of Mr Darcy and it was not a subject she particularly enjoyed discussing for long. She also feared that she had shown too much of her true feelings - especially when she was tempted to raise the one assertion against Darcy she could be certain. Her hesitation came from doubt that Colonel Fitzwilliam would accept her case. It was far more likely that the Colonel did not know all of the particulars as she, or given his point about 'most deserving', he did know all the details but would excuse them on Darcy's part. Regardless she did not wish to raise the subject of George Wickham at that moment, though she found herself comparing the two military men.

While her former favourite might have been blessed with more charm and lightness of character, the Colonel had the better informed mind - which allowed conversation between them to range broadly on subject and opinion. It was only on reflecting on these conversations with the Colonel, both between them and with others, that Elizabeth could acknowledge how restricted Mr Wickham's talk was. She could barely recall a time, on meeting with that gentleman, where the discourse had not featured Mr Darcy in some manner - most often was disclosure of what was now infamous history between the gentlemen, criticism of the current character of Mr Darcy, or opinion of persons related to Mr Darcy- such as his sister and aunt. Were she to consider it too carefully, she might have quipped that it neared obsession on Mr Wickham's part. Now, the Colonel pleased her with talk of books and music, or traveling and home - that she found a new preference in him, and if they were to disagree on the subject of Mr Darcy, it could be easily set aside for agreeable exchanges. She was careful not to allow her preference to lead toward any romantic feeling though, aware of Colonel Fitzwilliam's acknowledgement of his position after this meeting though.

* * *

Colonel Fitzwilliam felt some satisfaction at improving Elizabeth Bennet's opinion of his friend, though he did not report it to Darcy. While he had found some pleasure formerly in possibly being her preferred company - he knew his cousin was too decent to be disliked by such a amiable young lady. If they were to stay in Kent longer, they should both have the enjoyment of her society. In truth, his nature was too affable to compete with Darcy, whom he had always considered his better - not in position or wealth but in character and merit. He vowed that any time they might have with Miss Bennet would be spent attempting to draw from his cousin the liveliness that was hidden in the presence of strangers.

Darcy had also became more active in his endeavors to do the same, intentionally in the only manner he knew how. Instead of seeking solitude on his horse, he had taken more exercise on foot during the days following. In doing so, he and Elizabeth crossed paths several times.

She had taken notice of this, as she had hoped to instead meet with the Colonel, and cursed the fates for the repeated disappointment of finding his cousin. For it was not merely a few formal inquiries and an awkward pause between them, but on coming together, Mr Darcy thought it necessary to join her path. To himself, he justified this action as a means to fulfilling his promise to her sister, but while in her company, the truth was that he enjoyed 'practicing' sociable conduct as she had suggested the week before.

Regardless of his intentions, Darcy never said a great deal, nor did Elizabeth give herself the trouble of offering much conversation. It struck her during their third meeting that he would mainly ask questions or sought her opinion on unconnected subjects. It unnerved her a little, especially when he seemed to value her judgement of Kent and of marriage. Her preference of the Colonel's company grew, but with it she found that her acceptance of the Colonel's opinions had grown day later. She refused to let them soften her own opinion of Mr Darcy though. Instead, the memory of the Colonel's words and the attentions of Mr Darcy brought a rebellious response from her, so that she was intentionally terse and distant in her answers. On the Saturday she did not go out walking, and appealed to the heavens that the gentlemen would not choose to call at the parsonage.

Despite her efforts, Elizabeth was unable to prevent contact for long. Lady Catherine being so pleased by the extended stay of her nephews, found no need of inviting others to her dinner table while the gentlemen remained - which allowed Elizabeth some respite. Until the Sunday, when after the morning service, Mr Collins managed to wheedle an invitation to tea. Elizabeth did not particularly care to join the party and feigned an aching head as her excuse to remain at the parsonage.

"You did not go out walking either," Charlotte worried. "Are you sure it is not something more serious? I could stay with you, and if your head worsens we will send for Mr Hammond."

Mr Collins would not hear of both ladies remaining at the house that evening. He protested loudly until Elizabeth reassured them both, "it is merely a headache - it shall be fine I am sure. Some rest and solitude will only help."

The Collins and Maria were finally convinced to go, and she was alone for almost two hours when there was a knock at the main door. The departure of the others had left the house peaceful and Elizabeth had spent the time writing a letter home. As it was unlikely that a guest would call at the late hour, she had remained in her seat with her back to the door and was surprised out of it when Mr Darcy was admitted to the room by the maid.

"Forgive me," he murmured, noting her startled response to his entrance. "Are you much improved?"

"I am, a little, thank you." Elizabeth offered him a seat as she resumed her own, turning it to face him. She cursed her fate that the gentleman she was attempting to avoid, had sought her out whilst she was alone. Such strange behaviour from Mr Darcy again unnerved her and she wondered at the nature of his call.

Mr Darcy remained stiffly standing near the door, holding a small selection of books in one hand. Though he could see Elizabeth's curiosity at his sudden appearance, he hesitated before explaining , "there was some discussion over your well-being and sending for Dr Allen. I offered to call and inquire into your condition before further action might be made."

"I have no need of a physician," Elizabeth confirmed exasperated. At least her excuse was believable enough to cover the actual reason for her absence. She hoped such clarification would allow him to leave and also prevent any further conversation about her health by others. Mr Darcy lingered though, and after a moment of silence he stepped forward to the place the books on the table in front of Elizabeth.

"I thought, perhaps - if you were only in need of some rest - that you might enjoy some of Sir Lewis's library."

Again Elizabeth was stunned, and could think of no reply except a quiet, "thank you." She did not sit forward to look at the books but gazed impassively up at the gentleman.

"I recalled that you enjoyed reading," he continued, glancing around the room as he could not make himself look at her for too long, "and was unsure whether Mr Collins had any material which you might choose."

It was then that Darcy noticed the shelf packed with books beside the fireplace. He paused, considering the error of his assumption and Elizabeth smirked before she admitted, "Mr Collins does have a paltry collection, and there are a few that Charlotte brought from her parent's house, though they were mostly from my suggestions."

There was an uncomfortable silence as they each studied a separate part of the room.

"Some fresh titles may suit you then," Mr Darcy added finally with a cough, renewed in his intentions, "though these are not especially new. Sir Lewis was a voracious reader, but I am afraid his library has not received much attention since his passing."

Elizabeth was curious about what titles the gentleman might select for her to read, and summoned all of her will to resist showing an interest in the books. She smiled though and thanked Mr Darcy again.

"Though, I suppose," she added after a moment's thought, "that I should also express my gratitude to Lady Catherine as well, for her generosity."

Mr Darcy frowned, "she does not know of it, I am afraid. I did not think these books would be missed by any one at Rosings - at least not for a short time." When Elizabeth looked up at him in protest, he added. "I believe, as long as they are eventually returned, their absence will not even be noticed."

She could see that he would insist upon her at least looking at them, so she conceded, "I shall return them myself before I depart from Kent then, or ask Charlotte to if I do not have the chance."

Again, Elizabeth hoped that this would conclude his call, but Darcy thought her smile to be an invitation to continue the conversation. "How much longer will you be in the country?"

"Maria and I shall go to London on the 18th, and then we will likely return to Herfordshire a week or so after."

Mr Darcy frowned again at this, "I had thought your stay would be at least until the last week of April"

"No, we had planned to stay at least until Easter," Elizabeth clarified, "and now Mr Collins is eager for us to attend the Metcalfe's garden party,"

The invitation to the event had arrived at the parsonage on the Monday and Maria had excitedly spoken of nothing else. Mr Collins was so pleased by the honour of such a connection with a second noble estate, he had insisted that they all attend. It was fortunate that Elizabeth and Maria's original plans had them leaving a few days after, though Mr Bennet had written that week wishing for Elizabeth to return home sooner. The garden party would be the last event they would attend in the mostly uneventful stay in Kent.

Mr Darcy nodded, impassively - his frown now smoothed away, "yes - I believe Colonel Fitzwilliam and I will also attend - to accompany Miss De Bough - before our return to London on the Saturday."

Elizabeth offered only a polite smile at this and neither showed much anticipation of the event. They each studied a separate corner of the room for a few moments as the silence settled over them. Mr Darcy still standing, now paced the room - seeming to look at an item on the mantle, at the view outside the windows but not really perceiving what he saw. His restless actions conveyed a sense of discomfort from lack of purpose and, to Elizabeth's relief he picked up his hat, as all topics between them were exhausted, so he might take his leave.

"I should return to my aunt," Darcy finally stated, though he would have accepted any excuse to continue the visit. Elizabeth thanked him again for attending to her and bringing the books - and then he was gone.

Her curiousity now overcame her willpower and Elizabeth reached for the pile on the table. There was four books - two novels by Defoe, though only one she hadn't read, a history book about the voyages of various explorers and a slim publication of excerpts from Greek poetry - in English. Somewhat affected by the oddness of the meeting, Elizabeth thought over the gentleman's action, determined to find fault. He had both thought of her enjoyment in reading in bringing the texts but also selected offerings that did not carry the usual bias of literature appropriate for ladies. From some other gentleman, she might have thought it an acknowledgement of her intelligence and curiousity in a range of subjects - but from Mr Darcy that seemed too unlikely.

And then, there was the act of bringing the books himself - that he would take such action was so unlike her expectation of him, she was so very sure he was more the type to send a servant to complete an uncomfortable errand. Setting the books down on the table, she noted the sentence she half finished in a letter home - she had been commenting on her desire to return, no longer to face possible meetings with Mr Darcy. Now, at least, she knew she could calculate exactly how many occasions left where she would have to be in his company and was grateful for that knowledge.

She did not spend long pondering this though, with the incomplete letter to be finished - she concluded and sealed it before packing up her writing materials. Underneath the letter was the last from Jane, and it's appearance was a reminder for the gentleman once more. Perhaps - Mr Darcy had been intending to address her on what ever matter Jane had requested - but her indifference in his company had prevented an opportunity. All of this had caused her to think of the gentleman far more than she cared too, so she took up the unfamiliar novel by Defoe and read to occupy her mind.

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 **Author's Note:** I'm still not 100% happy with this chapter, so I may adjust in the future, but for now I want to move on with the story. Leave me a review (please be kind!)


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